After my second rock.com account was shut down for no apparent reason, I decided to send e-mails from my other account on care2.com. I sent off the e-mail, and checked my in-box, looking for anything that might have slipped through my spam filter.
I was greeted with, yes, one peice of obligatory "Mortgage your house!" e-mail, and four others: "How's yourself", "Training", "Wakey Wakey", and "Oops...:)"
How do I suspect that these are from that irresistably disjointed entity
from Homestar Runner?
Let's take one as an example:
Evening, landlord :)
Joy has this in common with pain, that it robs people of reasonN
He either fears his fate too much, Or his deserts are small, That dares not put it to the touch, To gain or lose it allN
He that would be superior to external influences must first become superior to his own passionsN
There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready moneyN
If you give an audience a chance they will do half your acting for youN
There are no gains without painsN
Love without attachment is lightNLanguage is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they growN The biggest lie on the planet: When I get what I want, I will be happyN
Abandon all hope, you who enter here!
He who is plenteously provided for from within, needs but little from withoutN
A man's own self is his friendN A man's own self is his foeN
Everybody in the world thought we couldn't do itN But we did, dammitN [After winning the America's Cup]
Thought is born of failureN
Objects in pictures should so be arranged as by their very position to tell their own storyN
A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero but a bad novel tells us the truth about its authorN
The war existing between the senses and reasonN
The more corrupt the state, the more lawsN
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in betweenN
Flowers are happy thingsN
What saves a man is to take a stepN Then another stepN
Life is a bridgeN Cross over it, but build no house on itN
Liberty consists in wholesome restraintN
He who forgiveth, and is reconciled unto his enemy, shall receive his reward from God for he loveth not the unjust doersN Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destinationN
Now, I am, first of all, nobody's landlord. That's one hell of a greeting... but in Homsarland, it means "Hi, good to see ya" or "Hey, pal".
Second, the repitition of N's that continually happen throughout the letter. Now, normally, he'd actually be extending "AAAAAaaaAAAAaaaa" before or after a phrase. But he's never been completely normal about anything, just vaguely disjointed and repetitive. And then when you think of him saying "Baasi"- well, just add a few other a's in there. You'll feel it.
Third, quotes that have insightful, if used in the correct context, meaning. The way that they are set up, however, with no unifying theme or purpose make them little less than proverbs.
"Abandon all hope, you who enter here!" - Inferno, Dante
. Tsch, indeed.
Now I could be completely wrong, but it does make the sender(s?) more forgiveable if not altogeather ignorable. But with monikers such as "Aquinas Q. Nielsen", "Avoided Q. Ban", "Brontosauri S. Damps", and "Artery U. Impungus", you tell me that you wouldn't want to imagine that it could be Homsar, standing in front of a computer, wildly raving about winning the powerball