Homeade Honeytown

/tumbleweed

2009-03-19T15:20:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going to be starting over elsewhere with a blank slate. Or maybe I'll just overhaul Honeytown. Regardless, I apologize for leaving this unattended for so long.

Adieu

Fwoosh.

2008-07-02T19:53:00.000-07:00

Oh, right. A real update. About stuff.

Let's see...

I've not even hardly begun to move North. I think I'm going to have a garage sale on Wednesday and Saturday next week, and up for sale will probably be a bunch of things that I don't actually want to get rid of but just plain don't have room for at Drac's house.

Sure, some of my stuff is up there. But I'm still carting a duffel bag between home and there every time I go to see him. Spend three days there, come back for four, go spend three more.

It's a little hectic sometimes.

Last week his grandpa passed away- I never really had the chance to know him- not really. I think I met him a grand total of about six times, including about two days before he died. It really kinda threw me. His grandpa had remarried after his dad's mom passed away- so Grandma M is actually his step-grandma... but she's so sweet.

I hope she'll be okay.

It was a beautiful ceremony at Jeff Barracks. We'll both have to go out and visit our grandpas together there, sometime. I miss my grandpa.

The doctor's seeing me every two weeks now, and the Wednesday before last she said "Welcome to your third trimester!". I love my doctor- she's awesome. Really bright smile and always very polite and friendly. The baby's doing well- or as well as can be expected. I apparently have to go out and find iron supplements. (Eh, there are worse things.)

I'm not as nervous as I used to be. I just have to trust that everything's going to be okay. The baby's going to be healthy, I'm going to have health care through the end of the pregnancy, and everything's going to be okay.

Time to mess with my Template again...

2008-07-02T19:47:00.001-07:00

Okay, so Jeff, the dude who did the Launchcast "What I'm listening to" thingy in the sidebar apparently sold out to someone. That "Zope.net" or whatever it was that kept popping up every time I went to look at my blog was getting annoying.

Oh, well- I haven't really listened to Yahoo! Music in a good year and a half or so, so I'm not terribly broken up over taking it off my sidebar.

It was nice while it lasted.

Enetation is still not behaving, but I'm not taking it off my template yet. It's hidden because it's down, so that's good enough for me.

exhale

2008-05-28T13:46:00.001-07:00

Okay, now that I have the rant out of my system...

Life is good.

I made enough that I get a decent amount for unemployment, Medicaid pulled through, and I think everything's going to be okay. We'll have to see what life looks like on the other side of three months from now, but I think everything's going to be okay.

Sucks that it behooves me not to be married while I'm on Medicaid. I know a few of my relatives aren't happy about that... but I have to do what's best for the baby- and I can't get a job that pays more than unemployment without losing medicaid priveliges. And no job- no matter what anyone tells me- gives health care immediately.

So I'm between a rock and a hard place.

But it could be a helluvalot worse.

Birthday for me!

2008-05-10T17:30:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, anyway.

I used to be all grumpy when my birthday would fall on Mother's Day. I guess it's that selfish-"I-dun-wanna-share" mentality that kids can have about birthdays and holidays. But I'm pretty sure that things are probably going to change concerning that, too.

The Youtube contest was supposed to post semi-finalists yesterday, but they haven't put anything up yet. It's painful, it's frustrating, it's...

not like I'm going to win.

But I DO want to see who the semi-finalists are! Especially to find out if this guy's in them.

Because he deserves it.

But there are easily over 300 responses to the original vid, and of them probably about 124 followed the rules for entry. Including mine. That's a MASSIVE amount of vids to go through.

Saying Goodbye~

2008-05-04T17:51:00.000-07:00

Last day of work today.

I clock in tonight, work twelve hours, and then come back to pick up my last paycheck on the seventh.

For all intents and purposes, we are closed. We haven't had hardly any calls on the day shift, night shift's a joke. The only reason they didn't transfer us to day shift like everyone else was because it wasn't worth the effort. (Not to mention the fact that Paul would've thrown a hissy fit. He likes to throw hissy fits... I think he's a little too in touch with his inner child sometimes.)

Seven of us have jobs lined up. One of them is a manager.

I think I'm going to sit on unemployment for a while and beg health insurance from Medicaid. Even if I can't stay with my current OB- if I have Medicaid, at least I CAN go to a doctor.

I'll be moving to North County pretty soon. They're clearing a space for me... for us. I don't see it happening until June, probably.

I'm going to miss working for Adam's Mark. But it's good to be off the yo-yo string. It'll be nice to be on level ground again- even if that means being unemployed.

SO Excited...

2008-04-13T18:43:00.000-07:00

We get to find out what the baby is on Wednesday!!

And I got my taxes e-filed. TurboTax.com told me that I should be getting the biggest refund I've ever had. With losing my job, that'll be really helpful...

It's strange, knowing that I'm moving out of the Ballwin house in about six or eight weeks. It all depends on when they make room for me at their place. There's a lot of things for me to pack. All my books... again. Everything in my bureau, for the most part. The buffet table will have to be cleared and emptied. And my computer- they still don't know where they're going to put it.

I'm going to get a house key.

It's really kinda scary. But that's only because it's a big step, and I'm skipping that whole "living on my own/in my own apartment" thing that I always imagined would happen to me first. New house, new rules. God, I'm gonna miss this place.

Purple. Totally.

2008-04-01T06:03:00.000-07:00

It's the weirdest thing.

Over the past few months, my dreams have been getting strange and vivid. Not that I haven't had strange dreams in the past. I have. And I've had vivid, consuming dreams before, too. But I think this last one has got to be the strangest by far.

The only part that I really remember is...

Huge guy, skin as deep as you can get in brown before being black, bushy black beard and mustache. He had on this crazy purple zoot suit with pimp hat, and this PHENOMENAL pimp cane (Black with a beautiful silver handle- I know it was intricate, but I didn't get a good look).

His head was thrown back in insane laughter.

And then I woke up.

And then- this is the weirdest part... I was already awake, and there was massive thunderclap outside because it had been raining all day.

...WHY THE HELL DID I DREAM ABOUT A CARICATURE OF A CRAZY PIMP?!

Lots to talk about...

2008-03-16T12:47:00.000-07:00

Okay... Deep breath...

Here we go.

I'm scared, and excited, and hopeful, and worried, because a lot has happened in the past few weeks.

I- we- My affectionate, loving fiance and I- just recently found out that we're going to have a baby... and everything immediately began moving quickly. News travels fast in my family- and whoever I haven't told will be sure to hear about it soon enough. Everyone's been really supportive so far.

LarLar is worried, because she was put in a similar situation back in High School- she has a lot to say about it. But Brookie and Bethie will have a playmate when they get all grown up.

I went to the OBGYN for the first time last week- turns out I'm much- MUCH farther along than I thought I was... I'm pretty much on the cusp of beginning the second trimester. I have baby pictures, so I can see where the arm is, and the leg is, and everything.

That's not the only thing going on, though. Soon after my visit to the OB, I go in to work, only to find the office completely abuzz. They've been taking groups of five or six to an office meeting in which they get a letter that's pretty much an extended pink slip. That's right, folks... I'm fired- or I will be in seven weeks. The office closes on May 5th, and I might as well start scrambling to get a job.

I'll have to get Cobra to extend my medical insurance while I'm out of work- and I'll have to get a deferral for my college loans for a little bit. But I- We- can do it.

There's little to do in lots of time.

... strike that.

Reverse it.

~Toodles

YES. TubeArts Contest...

2008-02-29T12:35:00.000-08:00

It's something I've been waiting for.

I have the poetry entry written out... and recorded with voice. (Vista actually let me use my headset? Wow! And at least it records better than my laptop used to... I'd be too embarrassed to use anything recorded on my lappy. Static and background noise are evil.)

But.

I need video with it.

ALSO!

I can add more than one entry, according to JackDanyells. Of course, how many of the entries they actually watch is entirely at the discretion of the judges... and I don't blame them.

Hitsuzen...

2008-02-14T03:04:00.000-08:00

AquaRosewater (4:59:43 AM): Besides, you and Luke are awesome for each other. ^_^
EllaBby (4:59:57 AM): I know. I love him.
EllaBby (5:00:11 AM): We always say we were made for each other.
EllaBby (5:00:28 AM): I saved a text from him.. "If fate exists...baby, this is it."
AquaRosewater (5:01:29 AM): lol
AquaRosewater (5:01:35 AM): That's SO sweet.
EllaBby (5:01:50 AM): /nod I never thought I'd be able to get to his heart. When I crushed on him.
EllaBby (5:01:54 AM): And now look at us

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

No toga party this year for Lupercal, though.

*chants* NextyearNextyearNextyearNextyear...

A Vampire's Wish...

2008-02-12T19:48:00.000-08:00

I scrapped this neopets account by accident, but I saved the html documents from the first four pages of the first two successful tries. I pretty much forced Athene to read it back when I first wrote it, but it really has an entirely different meaning to me now. I don't know if there's a place in the literary world for something like Crimson Tears. It exists already- in Anne Rice, I think. Maybe it's just not meant to be written by me.

The second try has the full ceremony. It was rare even after that night to get through the entire thing.

It's just a bunch of silly girls pretending at playing coven- but more than that, it's a bunch of silly girls using their imagination for the hell of it. Myself included.

Try One:
Page one of four
Page two of four
Page three of four
Page four of four

Try Two:
Page one of four
Page two of four
Page three of four
Page four of four

If you check the post-stamps for each of the posts, you'll find that they were all March 2005. Almost three years ago.

I guess I still haven't given up on the dream of making Crimson Tears a reality, although Antinov is dreadfully cliche, the Vicomte doesn't exist in my soul anymore, and Kiringa... has bigger fish to fry.

Kiringa's evolved. And so have I, I guess.

So it's time to move on.

Rargh.

2008-02-03T08:05:00.000-08:00

Last night was, by far, the most boring night of work. Ever.

I tore through all four one-shot manga I brought within the first four hours.

I read through most of the magazines that were left behind by the day shift people in another hour and a half.

I made poorly-drawn pixel art with the MSpaint program and saved it to my usb drive.

I think I need to start bringing my exacto blade with me to work again. Because this just will NOT do.

(But on the bright side, Everyone gets a $300+ tax refund this year! And my next Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle volume is due out this month! *dances*)

Take Life, Insert Change

2008-01-29T07:12:00.000-08:00

Wow.

The teasing of the sale is officially through.

We're going to be under a new name on the first of February.

There's a benefits meeting tomorrow for me to go to in the middle of the day.

Wow.

I'm still in shock.

They let five people go.

We don't know what will happen to third shift.

The policies for things like clothing and internet have gotten more strict.

Tuition reimbursement for the new company is crap. (Less than $500 a year. IF I qualify.)

But wow.

Same job. Subtract three hotels. Two hotels. Add three from the new company? We hope. Maybe.

The journey begins now.

I think I'm too excited to sleep.

I REFUSE...

2008-01-15T08:45:00.000-08:00

My mirrors are both shot.

The passenger-side mirror has been gone for over two years. But yesterday I did something phenomenally stupid on the way to work, which could have been easily avoided.

I cut off a state trooper.

I'm lucky he didn't slap me with three tickets before sending me on my way. He gave me a citation and didn't even see the duct tape on my driver's side mirror... which has been jiggly/loose/detached since I had a scrape with an ATM a while back. It just... SNAPPED! Then it kind of wiggled its way to an unsafe position before we added duct tape to it.

My dilemma:

I had two loans for my car- one that was due to early maintenance (tires, to get the title changed, etc) and the other was the actual car payments for the title. It was a beautiful deal, I can't say that I paid more than $2000 for my car.

So, when the first one broke, the title was still in Big Daddy's name, and I was so freaked out that I IMMEDIATELY went to go get an estimate. The shop (Who Shall Remain Nameless) told me that in order to fix it, they'd have to order in a new part. If I were to buy a part off e-bay, (assuming they'd accept it), they told me I'd be looking at about $300 for labor. If I let them order the part, it would look more like $500.

$500 X 2 = HALF THE PRICE OF MY CAR

I would rather turn my favorite vehicle in to a used dealership and get a newer model than to shell out $1000 I don't really have for two mirrors. I refuse.

Then they offered to cut off the other one so it wouldn't be bouncing against the side of my car as I drove.

I accepted their offer. If I hadn't I could've just had someone shove two screws through it, and I'd be a happy camper. Instead, I got used to checking my blind spot. Constantly.

Unfortunately, I was a little too tired on my way to work, failed to check my blind spot PROPERLY (as in, I knew there was a car there, but I thought it was further back, checked out my window but not the back one, and... yeah), cut off the state trooper.

On the bright side, he was a lot more professional and polite than any of the other law enforcement representatives I've had to deal with. But still...

Yeah. I need to get this taken care of. I need to get them both taken care of.

Does anyone know a good Auto Body shop?

Wow...

2008-01-11T00:29:00.000-08:00

I just saw Sweeney Todd with my sister and her hubby earlier today and... wow.

It was... phenomenal. I want it on DVD.

It's so wrong but... I felt more compassionate to the lovesick Mrs L. during the ENTIRE MOVIE than to Mr. T. himself.

Again: Too awesome.

First blog of the new year:

2008-01-02T07:25:00.000-08:00

Why didn't I post anything during Christmas?

I've been avoiding this little corner of the internet for god knows what reason.

Probably because it didn't feel like news that I finished NANO. But I did, and it felt great when I did... a day early, in fact! But the storyline needs MAJOR work, I need to shift a few things and overhaul the ending.

Badly.

But I did it. Unlike the year I attempted Fallen, I did it. ^_^

Other things:

~ Tarrith has a "look" now. It's been slowly developing, but it's great. He's got the "Bohemian Art Student" thingy going on. Vests or suits, loose tie, fedora, slacks. IT ALL LOOKS GREAT ON HIM. Two thumbs up, bro.

~ My grandma gave me a letter opener shaped like a sword for Christmas. I'm uber-happy over this.

~ My boyfriend gave me a cold for Christmas. I'm less happy about this. But I also got an awesome leather coat from his whole family, so he's forgiven a zillion times over and in the future for any future colds. (He's gonna bring me chicken soup sometime because I brought him chicken soup earlier in the week. Hopefully he'll be over his by then.)

~ It was great to see everyone at Jess's party. ^_^ We need to hang out more. I hope Mike was okay when he woke up, it sounded like he was in a bad way at the end there...

~ New years was boring- I did spend it at work, and all.

~ The deal to sell my job fell through. Kummer says it's over, I'm saying good riddance, but... FUCK, you know? I wanted the sale to go through and have done with HBE. The up-down was killing me, not to mention the Christmas party... Everyone who stepped up to the podium was like: "We're looking towards the future!" and "We're learning from our past efforts..." Everyone in the office is saying that he'll probably start selling the hotels one-by-one. Bye-bye, job.

Aaaand... that's just about the long and short of it.

Oh, wait. And SpiderMan's marriage to Mary Jane has been officially annulled due to Mephisto in the Marvel universe. I'm frustrated that any editor thinks this is a good idea. It would have been better for Aunt May to have died of cancer than to end it with MJ. Aunt May's old, anyway.

Toodles, everyone.

Have You Been Reading...?

2007-11-20T11:57:00.000-08:00

My stuff?

Because if you have, then you'd know that the section of the forum that it's in has been blocked with a "log in screen". That's because some ad farmer grabbed pieces of Talkos and Stani's work, slipped in a few keywords, and put it up online. Stani had been running scripts looking for bits and slices of our collective work so far, hoping to find a review.

Yeah, NOT a review.

I don't encourage you to join the forum ONLY to look at my NANO stuff. Because as much as I CRAVE some sort of feedback (I really, really, really do), the ofteninspired forum isn't merely for that. I've found it to be a growing, developing community where people can learn from each other and help each other move forward.

So I want you to join. I DO. Just don't do it for me. Do it because this isn't an everyday forum.

(Actually, do it for me, because I NEED feedback. I need it, I need it, I need it, and I'm about to go insane because I can't get anybody to read it.)

So it's the 15 day mark...

2007-11-15T03:32:00.000-08:00

I'm at about 1,022.8 words per day.

That means I'm about 644.2 words/day short of being where I need to be... or 10,000 words behind. I think I might have to skip "Thanksgiving".

*electrocutes document*

I'm doing NANOWRIMO again.

2007-11-02T04:10:00.000-07:00

ARE YOU?

You can go see my profile Here or read my progress Here. (It's not in the same tone of GREAT LITERATURE as Fallen was, so it's bound to be a bit more neurotic as first person.) A friend of mine is putting on a little NANOWRIMO competition, so if you've already signed up a NANO, you might want to join in. Or, hey! It's not TOO late to join in on the festivities. Sure, you have to type a little more than 1,667 per day, but it's really not that hard!

Happy Writing/Happy Reading!

Urk.

2007-10-21T17:58:00.000-07:00

It's not orange out, or even orange-green-yellow-brown. It's green. Bright, shiny green. It doesn't FEEL like October this year. Normally I'd be letting the feel of Autumn rush over me, but this year... is it even autumn? Is it summer? Hell, it could be spring- I can't tell the difference.

I'm missing my Halloween spirit. It fluttered off and left my husk behind, and I don't know why. It's my favorite holiday. FAVORITE holiday.

Love Valentine's Day. Love Christmas. But Halloween was always tops.

Can anyone suggest anything to get my holiday spirit back?

I don't know if it's working nocturnally or what... but this... this... un-feeling. I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

KC!!!

2007-09-25T19:20:00.000-07:00

I'm. So. Excited.

*dances*

We leave on Friday, come back on Sunday, and are going to have a great time. I went ahead and got tickets for Grandma and I to go see Phantom's Feaste: Bordello of Blood in KC on the 30th, too. *dances* SO excited.

An Admission of Truth

2007-09-11T06:14:00.000-07:00

(or rather, what I've been up to since I last blogged on here...)

I admit it, I've forsaken the blog for a bit. "Theeze theengz do 'appen now and again." I guess I've been just waiting for summer to disappear.

Not in that "I can't wait until my summer is behind me" sort of expectation. It just feels like I'm always looking forward and keep forgetting to look back until it's too late. (Then I see the wreckage I've left behind me, like godzilla. Or the Stay-puft Marshmallow man. But I digress.) I could spend the entire fall listing what I didn't do during summer, and that would be quite counterproductive, eh?

SO, what have I been up to? I went to the Japanese festival Labor Day Weekend. It was a blast, I only wish I could have spent more time there. Going out that morning, I blasted my radio to a song by Asia (whose title I couldn't look up and therefore can't remember) that brought all kinds of happy nostalgia over me. I got to see the candyman show, and left just before sumo wrestling was meant to start. Still had to sleep before work, and I was seriously afraid that I might not be able to drive properly if I didn't get my tailfeathers home.

Drac and I are planning for KC, still... but management's being slow as hell about approving vacation time. (General concensus from everyone I've talked to about it: It's owed to me, they ought to just fork it over.) I'm getting so excited... words do not describe.

Oh, Bob had a birthday on Saturday. *big virtual hugs out to Salt Lake* HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Adam's Mark is still up in the air over the buyout. They (tentatively) moved the dates on us, so we have to wait until Halloween. (Trick or Treat, little boys and girls...) I'm going to plug in a vacation request for Halloween, too. Just because I don't think he's willing to let me LWOP an entire evening.

I also find it amusing that they FINALLY put up barriers on their internet service. One can no longer log on to things like Myspace, Youtube, and nearly 4/5 of the websites on the internet. I always expected that if there was going to be one, it'd be in place, but I kinda figured they'd always get around to it eventually. I guess it's kind of a release. "It's about time!" Now I can get back to my reading.

Drac put me through the uncut version of The Stand. Long book, fun, but left me feeling strangely unfulfilled. He's got me on tap for the Dark Tower series next.

9/11 is still in my mind and heart, as my father's off to Chicago. He's taken his own van, but that doesn't change that it'll be in another major city on the sixth anniversary of a terrible tragedy. I remember, as many probably do, being fixed to the television. Many at work, at home- I happened to be at school in second hour, watching as the media- and then the country- came to a screeching halt for twenty four hours. MJ was playing his yearly anniversary broadcast commemorating the victims of the attack- reminding us of the fear and suspense we felt that day as the events unfolded.

To the survivors, and those survived by friends and family, my prayers are still with you.

twitch twitch

2007-08-19T18:39:00.000-07:00

I'm nervous.

It's probably not on anyone's radar here, but it was released to the public that the company which intends to buy Adam's Mark also intends to reflag the big three hotels. The Adam's Mark of Saint Lou becomes a Hyatt, the Adam's Mark hotels in Dallas and Denver become Sheratons.

They aren't going to need a call center for two hotels.

Right now I'm looking at that shiny guillotine and wating for the mass decapitation to occur.

We don't even know if there is a severance package for the new company. All other benefits are a mystery. On the bright side, the jobs section of the Want Ads has more opportunities to me now than ever in the past- so at least my job hunting's gotten a little bit easier.

Hopefully, anyway.

I just find it ironic- or maybe just tragic- that I get a fifty cent raise and they'll probably eliminate my job completely. They'll start by putting me on first or second shift, if they have room. Then... they just won't need us anymore.

Damnit, I just got my review! Will said I was promotable! Promotable to what?! We aren't sure if we're going to have our jobs in the next two months!

*sigh*

Yes... I feel better now.

Note to Self: Eat before giving blood

2007-08-15T16:37:00.001-07:00

Thank god yesterday's over.

Went to get a checkup from my OBGYN, and followed someone's advice/pressuring/etc to get myself checked for everything- and I DO mean everything. Just in case. So I went in, and I remember being there, in the chair while she's prodding me and thinking- "She just said she's going to need to take a blood sample from me, it's going to come from my arm, right?"

It did. But that kinda put me in a funny state of mind.

I hadn't really had a chance to eat anything all evening, and my appointment was at 9:50, so by the time my appointment rolled around, my 4am popcorn had probably worn off and I would have very little inside me. I considered that a small favor at the time I arrived and saw a woman leaning over a trash can, who had obviously been retching ealier.

Silly Moues. I should've had something to eat first. I sat in the chair and told myself that I was not going to faint or throw up- I just wasn't. (*headdesk*)

She couldn't find my veins- they ran quite deep like Mom's did, so she ended up taking it from my wrist. Well, she started to- unfortunately, she didn't keep talking to me, so even though I fought off the woozyness, I couldn't keep from slipping into unconciousness. I came to the first time, and there were three nurses around me. I remember two of them asking if they could move me- even assisting me when I tried to stand, but then I said it wouldn't be a good idea.

I slipped back into another faint. When I came to, there was a fourth nurse, holding a juice box to my lips and insisting that I drink something. It didn't stay down long, just long enough to get me to one of the beds. I was able to stay awake that time, mostly by the fact that I was sitting up instead of lying down. Called the first person I could think of- Drac- and asked him to come get me.

To his credit, he was completely sweet, bought me lunch and a rose to wake up to, gave me a place to sleep, and then drove me back to my car before work. All on three hours of sleep for him. *hug*

On my way out of the office, I had to make another reservation to get blood taken- as they didn't get QUITE enough. Drat.

Unfortunately, I also had the misfortune of leaving my debit card in the US BANK ATM, so they shredded it. Luckily, well, they shredded it, and nobody's trying to figure out my pin right now. They put a hotcard account on it at the bank when I stopped by this morning, and are going to be sending me a new one.

I think I need more sleep.

'Night, folks.

Oh... My... God...

2007-07-20T01:21:00.000-07:00

So yeah, right now I'm over at Athene's, playing on my brother in law's computer and watching Turkish Star Wars.

The people who went "WTF?!" to my music video must have never seen the Turkish Star Wars. Because right now I'm a whole three minutes in and already going "WTF?! ALDERAN? NUCLEAR WAR? WHAT? HUH?"

And yet, I have no desire to stop watching, for the pure WTF-ness of it all.

March of the Sailor Cosplay Squad!!

2007-07-19T14:30:00.000-07:00

I made a meez video. I don't know if I should be proud or ashamed of it.

Linky here.

If you love me you'll give it five stars.

If you hate catgirls... um... don't look?

The Hard Part is Keeping Them In Love With You...

2007-06-30T17:41:00.000-07:00

Drac and I are seeing each other again as boyfriend/girlfriend, and he's doing his best to show me that he's changed. It's starting to work, but there's a LOT we have to get through. To his advantage, he's being sweet, charming, and generally everything I remember loving about him.

Silly, snarky jokes aside, he's really a more mature Drac than when we parted ways. I find that encouraging, to say the least. (I am worried about his sister, though. *virtual hugs the Renzo*)

I put him through hell before finally agreeing to one last evening out with him, to exchange our things. Things did evolve from there, slowly.

I want to take a minute to say that bringing my relationship (if you would call what we had a relationship) to a close with John was NOT a direct result of seeing Drac again. Each event was mutually exclusive, and I was very conflicted about both. Most people are sick to death about hearing about my relationship issues, so I haven't really talked about them unless asked. (Mostly. Jess and Laura have both put up with me on various occasions.)

I've agreed to give him a second try. It's his last one. I'm not stupid enough to give another one... if he doesn't learn from his mistakes, then I intend to learn from mine.

Fostering Forgiveness and Futility

2007-06-30T17:02:00.000-07:00

I guess I have no reason to hold myself back on this blog anymore.

Up until recently I was part of a very, very strange love triangle between a man by the name of John and his on/off Ex. (There are way too many people in my life named John, much like there were to many women in my mother's life named Carol.)

His girlfriend has been known to canvas websites he checks, so as I became aware that he was still with her (because it was sort of don't ask/don't tell at the beginning of April), I became less willing to write about my interaction with him anywhere online- and in doing so, I'd keep it brief and generally ambiguous. I know that she knows what I look like, being that she stumbled (purposely?) across my myspace. All she really has to do is google my name on the other forum, and she'd eventually come up with this blog again.

I don't know whether or not he told her he'd been talking to me. I really don't.

I do know that he broke up with me once in February specifically to get back togeather with her. (If he denies it, He'll cite that the reason he got back with her was merely because he was single, despite it being within eighteen hours of breaking it off with me.) We were back togeather for a minute, and then he broke it off again, citing a dream/vision that said I was meant to be with one of his other friends.

I didn't want any of his friends. They're good people. I like them. But I wasn't emotionally stimulated by them. In any real way. >_>

So we spent a month apart, rarely speaking to each other. During that time, he did return to his ex for a minute. We spent an evening togeather, after which he offhandedly suggested that we might get back togeather- I needed to think about it, we were supposed to talk about it that evening. Funny- he said he was over at his best friend's house, and I was talking with him on messenger. The friend made no mention of John having been there. I didn't have a phone number for him at the time.

He was back with her around Easter.

He didn't tell me this until the beginning of May, couching it with "It'll be over any day now. She'll get fed up, or I'll get fed up, and one of us will end it."

Any day became any week.

Any week became two months.

She must hate me, if she knows. I ended my corner last week, despite his choice to end it with his girlfriend. I didn't ask him to do it. He did it, and I told him to go back to her. After fruitless attempts to reach me, he said: "I guess you just don't care anymore". Here's the kicker. He was dead wrong.

See, if I didn't care, I wouldn't have gotten out of that relationship pattern. If I didn't care, wouldn't it have made more sense to keep him around for a good, hot fuck? If I didn't care, then why did I even allow myself wait as long as I did, without him asking? If I didn't care, I wouldn't have kept him as a friend at all when he severed connections with me back in February, after I told him I loved him.

If I didn't care, I wouldn't have meant it. And if I hadn't been so damned desperate at the time to make him happy, I would never have backed down from it.

That's the honest truth.

300

2007-06-30T14:39:00.000-07:00

MADNESS?

THIS... IS... MOUESKA!!!!

Yay! 300th post!!!

The rest of my month-

2007-06-19T19:47:00.000-07:00

I've been talking about work a lot, because it was foremost in my mind.

As well as money. That's been kinda up there too.

But a lot of interesting things have happened to me in the past few weeks... I mean, really. I don't have a diary of events, so the dates may be a little bit off, but I think it's been a while since I've had a highlights reel.

(Jun 1) I find it terribly ironic that Dad found out about the buyout while I was out having fun. But it was sometime around Jun 1st that he called my cell. I was out and about- Gene was in the area so we hung out at Borders and he kept me from spending my money. He's good at it.

He's also completely awesome. I got to see him verbally duke it out with a hardcore born-again christian handing out literature. (Similar to chick tracts, but more love-based than scare-based.) It's great- he's intelligent, witty, etc. I pretty much kept my mouth shut during the encounter, mostly 'cause I was in awe.

(Jun 1-2) Get to work, find out more about the Adam's Mark merger. This whole thing sucks in general.

(Jun 5) Got sick, had to cancel on Shakespeare in the Park, and generally had a sucky two days off. And I was looking forward to it so much!

(Jun 9?) Family Reunion! (Oh, dear lord. >_<)

Kay's entire family came over and I spent most of the morning/afternoon hiding in my room. Dad also made the thickest, juiciest hamburgers ever on the grill he got for himeself for Father's day.
On the bright side, Athene, Tarrith, and their collective better halves were there, so it was much more bearable than it would have been without them.
Afterwords, I went out to Alton for... Fast Eddies! ^_^;

(Jun 10) Got to go the the Renn Faire with Gene. Had a complete blast.

Poor Gene had to put up with me getting liquored up and yelling drunkenly at one of the pirate shows. I still think my comments were relevant and appropriate, and even though they pretended not to hear me, Gene assured me that they could probaby hear me in the next county over.
I bought two things- One, a gift for dad that I haven't given him yet. Two, a leather mask that fits anyone who places it against their face like a glove. It's sexy and I love it.
Also got to try Honey Mead. Dear... god... it... is... sweet... ambrosia. I would have bought a bottle for dad, except that I had already spent all my money.
Gene slipped away to walk some of his friends to the gates, so I kinda was drooling over a table with wood-petal(ed?) roses.

Seller: How are you doing today?
Me: Broke, actually. *embarassed smile*
Seller: Then this is the place to be.

There was another gentleman in garb there... he paid for a rose for me, and the seller scented it. ^_^ And they say Chivalry is dead.

(Jun 13) Went to the Marvel exhibit at the St. Louis Science Center... then Rigazzi's, then Severance at the Tivoli, then home. Also got to see Pan's Labyrinth and spent the evening in good company. Severance is british-tourista-slasher-funny, and Pan's Laybrinth was everything I expected. And I mean that in a good way. Everyone was very much in the vein of "It won't be what you expect". *shakes head*

(Jun 14-15) Spent my last thursday of the month off with Melisa!

We were initially going to go to the Hustler club. As they were having a special event with a special appearance by Ron Jeremy, cover was $20. That kinda fell through since she (at the time) was more broke than I believed myself to be. (Now we're about on even footing- she doesn't have a job, but is living rent-free with her boyfriend)
Instead, we met up at Southtown Pub. I showed off my mask, wearing it on top of my head like an accessory, hair in my hair spike, legs in my renn sandals, capri pants, and chinese corset. Chasity from TJ Maxx popped in, and I hadn't gotten to see her in a while, which was nice. ^_^ A guy who had basically been emotionally stiffed by his blind date was invited down to our end of the table. He gave me his card, did the whole "call me" thing. I was flattered, but no, I'm not gonna ring him. He had grey hair and was twice my age.
After Southtown, about six of us (including Ronnie, the bartender) went to another bar, still serving drinks and playing Kareoke. Got to see one of Melisa's regulars rock out to Deep Purple without even looking at the lyrics. Also, the entire GROUP tried to set me up with Clark (yes, that's really his name).

Clark: So I see you got a mask. You like Superman?
Me: Superman? I like him... He's okay.
Clark: Well my name's Clark.
Me: Like Clark Kent?
Clark: Are you like a Lois Lane or somefin?
Me: No, Lois doesn't wear a mask.
Clark: Well could I be your Clark Kent.
Me: No thanks, I'm like Wonder Woman. She don't need no Superman or Clark Kent.

(later, after many attempts to switch seats)
Clark: You got nice breast-teses.
Me: Um, Thank you.
Clark: Can I see 'em titties? *playing with my clasp on my back, while I'm giving Melisa pleading eyes
Me: Erm... no. *escapes to the bathroom*
After that little escapade, Ronnie, Melisa, and I all crossed the river for Pops.

Now, about Pops- Pops is where everyone still partying at 3:30 in the morning goes, as well as the bouncers and strippers who get off work at the nearby skin joints.
I was reasonably sober when I got there, and was stone-cold sober by the time I left.
I also played the claw machine and got myself a Unipegasus plushie on the first try! SHE CAN BE TAUGHT! Either that, or there's nothing quite like dumb luck.

(Jun 16) Tarrith and his lovely galpal were in town once again, this time for Father's Day and Race for the cure!

My brother is bad for my Manga habit, he bought me the first four volumes of a series that I desire greatly but haven't had the money or motivation to go buy myself. It's Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle, the sequel (kinda) to CardCaptor Sakura. I'm deeply in love with xxxHolic, so falling in love with Tsubasa wasn't hard. I hadn't started collecting either of them. Manga is like crack, but the effects can be enjoyed over... and over... and over again. You know... expensive but uplifting. >_>
The race was awesome. I took pictures with my cell phone. Kay snuck off before I could get a family picture. Darn her. *shakes fist* I bought myself a pink chocolate-covered strawberry while on my detour at the end of the race. It's the second time I've taken a detour through the air-conditioned Union Station... just because. ^_^ It was worth it.

And that basically brings it all up to date. I'm off tonight because I swapped days with a co-worker. And I hate being off on a Tuesday... at least he normally gets Friday and Saturday off... he could've left my Thursday alone. The weeks go so much faster that way.

Signing off~
The Black Hole for Joy

Wow. I'm hurt.

2007-06-19T18:43:00.000-07:00

I went to the Missouri career center. I mean, it had worked last time- got me the job at Adam's Mark, and I was scared because I needed guidance and didn't have anywhere to turn. So I went.

The economy is in a downturn- I know this. Unemployment is high. I know this, too. But I'm not looking forward to the end of the month when my bank account will be overdrafted four times in quick succession when the rest of my college loans kick in. I'm about ready to cry, and this sucks.

At the job center, I got a one-on-one interview where she basically pointed out my resources, gave me my id, but failed to give me my correct password. I got to figure that little mishap out myself. (She automatically assumed it was the default- birthdate. Wrongo.) At the end, I remembered that the last time I'd come, the person who kind of nudged me in the right direction mentioned that they had seminars open to the unemployed and the general workforce (i.e. people off the street- like I was at the time... as well as the present).

The woman at the reception desk corroberated with what I had thought, and my interviewer basically had passed over the schedule of open classes because she had thought it was strictly for the unemployed.

But what really got to me was this, while they thought I couldn't hear them.

Receptionist: Is she underemployed?
Interviewer: *hushed, frustrated, and... generally derrogatory* No!!

The only thing she was missing was an eyeroll. I about died on the spot, probably because I wasn't supposed to hear it. I felt like marching up to her, telling her that I understood that I didn't have any children, but I DO have to pay to live at the Ballwin house, I have a hard time keeping gas in my tank, and if I had somewhere else to turn for advice, I would. I didn't, instead I thanked them both for their time and took a seat at the computer.

I was bristling by that time, trying to sign in, only to find out that the interviewer had given me my password wrong. I didn't want to get up and ask her. I did figure it out after jumping through a few hoops. But when I finally got through to greathires.org, I didn't have enough heart to do much with it. I felt... slighted and out of place. Damn them both.

So I didn't stay. I went down to Mystic Valley, and back home.

Fucking hell. What do I do in August if I can't find a new job by then? Waitress three jobs and hope for the best? Go Cutco or Telemarketing?

I'll figure out something. But fuck going back there for the next nine months. I have the only thing they were going to give me besides fax and cover letter services.

On Work

2007-06-08T15:05:00.001-07:00

We aren't allowed to talk about the buyout to news sources.

That's because we really don't know anything, we're getting the exact same information that they are. Look up Adam's Mark, Merger, and Fred Kummer if you are dying to know more than what's here.

Odds are, I won't lose my job talking about it on here. I'll just have to make the option not to access my weblog at work until this post falls off the page. I can do that, if necessary. Nobody at work reads my blog- and my job would probably. And if I do, I have nearly a year's worth of customer service under my belt, and I'm sure that some of my co-workers would vouch for me.

They're just as scared as I am.

Lucille is worred about benefits. Her raise is coming up just after the final deal is supposed to close.

Paul is worried that they'll make us a 9a-9pCST call center, effectively cutting out third shift altogeather. He says he can't work a normal retail job due to his health- anything else would just about kill him.

Other people worry that they might re-route the calls directly to the hotel reservations offices on-site, cutting out the entire call center. People who have stuck by our hotels since before Mr. Kummer sold the first sixteen out of the 23 in the chain are more or less shaking their heads- what can they do? Just wait it out, see what happens.

What kills me is similar to what's worrying Lucille. My loans will CRUSH me if I don't start getting tuition assistance so I can finish my degree. Yes, that peice of paper does make a difference when it comes to what I'm eligible for in salary. Tuition Assistance was an HBE corporate benefit- not a mere Adam's Mark benefit. Were it the latter, then it should transfer. But it's not. So I cross my fingers.

And wait.

And although I am typically patient, the bulk of my federal loans kick in beginning in September.

I don't have enough to make their minimum payments. That's what's really killing me right now. All this stress is giving me headaches. >_<

Work is...

2007-05-29T05:57:00.000-07:00

... about twenty percent trying not to fall asleep at the keys, seventy percent trying to find something to do, and ten percent answering calls. I find it funny how that can wear me out some days. For example, today- I was wide awake throughout. Nothing made me tired- not the heater, not the lack of action and calls at four in the morning. I was perkyish and awake.

I practically danced my way to the time clock.

And now, I'm back home, and about ready to crash, but I'm staying awake, clinging to some vague hope that someone might come online... even if they don't.

I do still love my job. ^_^

The only really bad thing to happen of late was that one of my managers walked out. Lucille even says that I'm probably the only one in the entire call center that actually likes their job- at least of the floor agents. I was almost shocked.

Really? Wow...

And then I thought about it. How Steve comes in every morning and complains... loudly... about the state of the carpet or (at least before the new ones arrived) the old POS computers that we had in the desks.

"Old man Kummer would never spend that kind of money on us," said he.

Ah, but we do have new computers. (They're lenovo machines, but they serve our purposes nicely.) It's possible that the same manager that walked out was able to get the computer requistion moving... I hope he finds a better job somewhere else.

(...*sigh* he was kinda cute, too... )

On Casual Dating Experiences:

2007-05-16T23:28:00.000-07:00

All right, when someone offers to make a night "special" for you, it does NOT mean that they should attempt to seduce you on the first night with a bottle of wine, and feed you grapes, strawberries, raspberries, fudge, and give you sloppy kisses until you stay their hand because you can't... take... any... more... of... their... tounge. (EURGH!!!!!!! Being ten years my senior, you'd think he'd have learned how to kiss by now.)

It also does not mean that if you suggest dinner (as was the original plan) they should look alternately bored and annoyed between lulls in conversation. Also, it would be nice if they actually initiated conversation.

I would add, that if you do not call off the date early at that point you ought to. The other party intends to get you laid. And if you actually let them past second base, they might actually get what they want.

I didn't. I couldn't tell near the end if I was a charity case or an ungrateful date for walking out.

Snippets of my night:

"Crazy idea- why don't you spend the night?"
"Ah... I don't really think I should."
*kiss* "So let me pick the time."
"Sure."
"4 '0-clock"
"That... actually... kinda works for me."

"I'm doing all of this for you."
"Well, I came over to hang out, not make out."
"That's okay, we don't have to do anything you don't want to."

(later)
*he makes a play for second base*
"Okay, I think I'd better go."
"Where are you going? Come, sit down. Sit, sit..."
"I really think I'd better be going."
"So early? It's not even midnight... I'm doing all this for you."
"I know, but.. I just... I can't. Do you still want to spend time tomorrow?"
"Not if you're walking out before four."

Birthday for Me!

2007-05-11T02:36:00.000-07:00

Wow, this is the first year I haven't begged people to get me stuff. XD

I must be maturing, after all.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Nah, probably not.

Requiem for My Lappy

2007-05-01T15:25:00.000-07:00

We were so happy, you and I.
All we needed was a little power
and we were off to parts unknown-
to visit Krakow and Myspace
that was all we really needed.
YIM, AIM, GMAIL- we miss them already-
connections severed by the unexpected departure
of your heart.
The battery- your,
ours,
and the abuse that I put you through...

How could I know you'd move on
without me
to computer heaven?

(Yes, my laptop died. No, I don't love my laptop as much as that awful poem might make you imagine. Yes, I hope to get it fixed. Yes, it's a power issue- I think.

G'night, e'ry'body.)

Book Fair!

2007-04-21T01:50:00.000-07:00

You can't go to a book fair with a shopping list. The book that you want will be snatched from your fingertips, and you'll miss out on books that look good. I set aside ten dollars of my refund money and allowed myself to go look... just to look.

Bad Moueska. Tsk. I should know better.

I came home with:

Bram Stoker's Dracula
The Complete Enchanter - L. Sprauge DeCamp and Fletcher Pratt
some sci-fi Short story collection of randomness ^_^
A book for my sister, if she's read it, she can give it to her local book fair and circulate it in Cape G.
Anton Checkov's The Cherry Orchard
some random kids play about Dracula
Edward A Guest's A Heap 'O Livin', a collection of poems in the first edition, circa 1916
A booklet of translated Egyptian Love Poems (I found it in Ephemra ^_^)
"Who knows what evil... lurks... in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows... MWAH HAH HAH HAH HA!!" (Probably a bad novelization, but who cares. It's The Shadow, man!)
Penn and Teller's Cruel Jokes to play on Dear Friends

Now, I think it's worth mentioning that there were about three zillion Star Trek books there, as well as two hundred copies of Stephen King, John Grisham, and Agatha Christie. But if I wanted to get those cheap, I have my local trade-in store to support. (Not to mention that John Grisham is boring as heck. >_>) There were also lots and lots of cookbooks and art books and mystery that I didn't bother to go through, being that my arms were already growing weary, and I was already afraid I'd come home with a book that I'd read once and then never read again.

Also, there were plenty of bits and peices of series that I was afraid I'd pick up the middle of, and not be able to find the beginning or end of (i.e. DUNE). Oh, and there were VHS out the wazoo. ^_^ I almost bought the version of Dune with Sting and Patrick Stewart.

If you can go today- the 21st of April, at West County Mall, then go. If all the vultures haven't picked over the delicious tidbits, then you just might find the perfect addition to your collection.

Deconstruction

2007-04-15T13:30:00.000-07:00

Dad's taken it upon himself to finally strip the master bathroom.

It's not exactly something easy to do, jimmying the tiles free from the un-protected drywall that the previous owners had chosen to use. I mean, WHO PLASTERS TILES TO DRYWALL IN A BATHROOM? WHO PLASTERS TILES TO DRYWALL AT ALL, FOR THAT MATTER!?

You'll have to forgive my caps, as I am tired and woke unexpectedly. Can't fall back asleep though, and my body's being very unfair about it. I learned a long time ago that there are some things you probably shouldn't write when you're angry or tired... and blog posts are one of them. Which happens to be why I rarely post tired/angry posts here and instead host them on my Myspace blog.

Recently, I've been trying to keep this one as drama-free as possible. Hell, I was trying to keep my life as drama-free as possible, but that can't be helped. Besides, I did ask for chaos a while back... I just didn't know it would come in waves...

Cheese or no Cheese?

2007-04-09T11:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, so if you clicked the IMDB link in the last post for "David Copperfield", you may have recognized one of the names in the cast.

I didn't.

I watched the movie today, and had open IMDB at the same time, poking the links of the "additional voices" and other actors, and noticed that the face alongside the actor for the character "Mealy" looked familiar. Not just a little familiar, as in "I think he played a secondary role on a tv episode I saw once".

I mean, really familiar.

That's because the part of Mealy was voiced by Howie Mandel of "Deal or No Deal".

I find this hilarious for some reason.

Someone needs to put the song he sings on Youtube. ^_^ After all this time, it's still my favorite.

Happy Easter to me!

2007-04-07T22:35:00.000-07:00

I have officially popped my e-bay cherry. My first purchase was a david copperfield DVD- not the one with Daniel Radcliffe or... oh... whatsisname... him... that guy. But not that other guy.

Anywho, the verion I bought is a ninety minute anthromorphic version with David Copperfield played as a cat, Mr Micawber as a monkey, Murdstone as a rat, and with a giant cheese factory as a backdrop for the entire ending. I'm sure part of that has to be organic to the original text. Haven't had a chance to watch it, but I look forward to ruining my childhood memories.

(They got the cover picture wrong on IMDB... yay for making my search harder...)

After all, I've been waiting for this since about 1993. That's when the broadcast was shown. It was during the Christmas Holiday Season on NBC, and I was hiding out in the basement with homework... or maybe it was yarn... maybe it was my craft materials. Doesn't really matter now, I guess. The movie came on, but I only got the bright idea to start videotaping it halfway through. Never saw it on TV again, and although I kept searching for it in bargain bins and every children's section of videos and DVDs I came across, it was no use. The movie had been locked in the film vault.

It wasn't until last month that I regained hope. While searching the internet for nothing in particular, I unleashed myself upon IMDB in wild chance... why I hadn't checked it before, I'm not completely sure. I looked into the message board- There! A post by someone claiming to have the DVD in their posession!

A DVD? Then it must have been released. And if it was released- all forgotten hopes and dreams end up on E-bay!

Mine did. ^_^

Now I just have to get a copy of The Theif and the Cobbler, too. Then my childhood movies will all have been collected.

DAMNIT, JANET!

2007-04-06T21:21:00.000-07:00

They changed my schedule at work.

I'm not a happy Moueska.

If I'd known, I would have actually been on time. I even waited to come inside because I'd made it to work "early".

*sullen growl*

Truly Outrageous

2007-04-06T20:01:00.000-07:00

^_^

I've been looking up Jem music videos on youtube. You can find anything on Youtube if you put your mind to it. I kinda stumbled across it... god, I barely remembered Jem- the only reason it rings bells is because my grandma bought us the Jem car and book/record.

~*~*~*~

It feels like I'm waiting for things to tailspin for me. Because life's been feeling way too damn good recently...

Then again, a lot can change in 48 hours. A whole lot.

The Recurring Dream

2007-04-04T19:40:00.000-07:00

It's happened at least twice that I can remember.

Each dream was a little different, but so very vivid... I'm on the disney cruise again, standing on the boat and it's time to go. But this time, it was a solitary journey- Jessi, Breka, and Mom B just weren't there! One thing that I remember being very, very vivid in both dreams is that I completely miss the shore. Not that I miss the boat, but I miss my chance to get off.

Both times I do eventually get to shore- the first time, I have to swim- it's not very far, luckily. The second time, I jump from my boat to another, where someone's waiting for me. The second boat had a very distinct Spirited Away theme, and I had a handful of the paper prayer-bird-dolls crunched in my hand. Even then, it was like I was grasping for a piece of the dream- or maybe just a souvenir to remember it by.

I don't understand! I don't know what this means!

*Grabs the handy-dandy dream dictionary given to me by Von and Drew for X-mas*

Here we go... "Disembarking a ship".

Leaving a phase of life, such as marriage or a job

Okay, and since I jumped into a boat the second time and didn't swim to the shore, "Ferry Boat".

Transition from one phase of life to another; the emotional connections in a relationship

Interesting... and since I did almost miss the boat... and did miss the shore the first time...

Missing opportunity; not grasping signifigance of events; not "making it" in a relationship.

Damn. I'm now very, very sorry I think so very much about dreams. *hides*

Shock of my life...

2007-04-01T01:56:00.000-07:00

... when I looked at the calendars at work. Today's Palm Sunday.

Is 2007 really one-quarter of the way over? Wow...

So, Um, You know...

2007-03-25T03:30:00.000-07:00

There's one really bad thing about working from 10pm until 6:30 am. I get a lunch. Which means I stick around and think about everything that's closed for a half an hour before giving up and shuffling back to my chair to wait out the twenty-five minutes I have left before I can resume getting paid for sitting. What a horrible waste.

I've been fighting a very, very nasty excuse for a cold, and I think it's winding down- now if only the rest of this damnable cough will leave me.

I know that there was a time when it felt like I could take on the world. I need that determination again.

Maybe I need to find something that will make me worthwhile. Because my writing's not enough. My deviantart profile is full of things done out of boredom. I know the long list of things I can't do, but by god, I'm good at my job... it just doesn't pay enough of the bills to get me what I need.
And what do I need?

An apartment.

... and a copy of Mirrormask.

What? If I'm worthwhile, then it's about time that I spoiled myself with something.

So... there's this bird...

2007-03-18T14:58:00.000-07:00

And it's beating itself against the window in the basement.

It isn't frightened by our visage on the other side, only focused upon its reflection as a potential aggressor. After all, he dives at it, and the other dives as well. He shows his plumage, puffing his feathers and trying to look all the larger, the other copies his stance. He flies beak-first into the window, and only gets back a pained beak and scrabbling feet for his pains.

He gives up for a time, pulls away from the window, and I have silence- it's so nice, I don't even notice that the incessant beating isn't there until he begins again.

I worry about the cardinal, how he might do this all summer and end up with a small concussion- so difficult that it may string his internal compass out of whack and be unable to fly south for the winter.

Gah, he'll probably be fine. I should go get some breadcrumbs for him.

The Joys of Apartment Hunting...

2007-03-18T05:38:00.000-07:00

I was suggesting the possibility of painting my room to the parental units, and they suggested the possibility that I might consider how long I was going to be staying with them. This has NEVER been broached before, and especially not in terms that would hinder any activity I might choose to take part in under their roof.

So it might not be such a bad idea to move out. Now... to find a place with rent somewhere around $300 a month...

I had registered for Rent.com when Stacy had a life crisis and needed a few tips on where she might move in on short notice... why not give it a shot? No direct filter for $300. So... try $200?

Um... nevermind...

Well, setting the filter at $400, it brought up nine locations, the lowest being $325, and very, very far away from where I want to be. I'm considering getting a roommate, but I'd kind of like to live on my own for a change. That, and I really have no money to speak of. I don't see myself going back to college unless I can take out a small loan to begin my Tuition assistance and pay off the extra $500 I still owe.

Roommates.com tricked me into buying a membership- so I might as well make the most of it. Otherwise, I guess I'm okay. It's cold outside, and drab to boot.

Maybe it'll be sunny by next week.

One thing's for sure- I intend to give myself at least five months to find a place. That'll be more than enough time, I'm sure of it.

What do you wanna be when you grow up?

2007-03-12T21:55:00.000-07:00

What is your Dream Job?

JackDanyells put out a call to youtube, and I'm extending it just one link farther. If you hunt through the video comments, you'll find my response, but I'm much more articulate when my speaking comes from my mind and goes straight to a keyboard instead of to a videocamera.

I love my job.

I say it on here all the time. You know I do.

One of the things I never told you guys about my job was when my honeymoon period shattered. It was a two-night experience that was brought on by my training class (the reservations were made shortly after we hit the floor- some of them by me). A pair of customers on a conference phone kept me on the line for about fifty minutes the first night, and another hour-and-fourty-five minutes the second night while I micromanaged about ten different reservations for them. Changing dates, cancelling rooms at the last minute, etc.

At some point during the conversation, I did something that doesn't happen in real life. I seriously put the customer on hold politely, asked my co-worker if she was on a call (which she wasn't), and let out an ear-shattering scream.

Again, my honeymoon period was shattered that night.

But I still love my job.

Why? I'm not sure. I think it's because it's been so long since I was actually good at something. I get an attagirl almost once a month. If I don't, then it doesn't matter, because I blinked and the month flew by, and I'll do better next month. My call monitors are consistently above 78%. I currently have a 1.5 hours of free time in the form of funbucks- which are rewards that basically mean that I can come in an hour and a half later than usual if I desire. I have another on the way- I scored 100% on my last call monitor, so I get another funbuck. ^_^ I also was given the top spot in February for conversion percentage.

I love my job, but it's not my dream job.

I have about four, least feasable to most feasable as follows:

First of all, my brother basically stole one of my dream jobs - I wanted to be a Rennaisance Wench at the Royal Dumpe downtown. He works for the Rennaisance Faire in KC as a Gypsy son of The Maestro.

Second, a professional actress, doing theatre for a living and actually making money doing voice acting. Possible, but difficult to break in to and maintain. Very, very difficult.

Third, an author. Unless I somehow break out of this blue funk I'm in, I don't see my writer's block for Fallen letting up anytime soon. But I need it to. Oh, I need it to. I want to re-imagine The Artist of Athens... but again, I need to break this case of the blues and... just... write. I don't know if I could be happy doing just this, though. I really don't know...

Fourth - and quite possibly the most feasable.
Not immediately, but eventually.
One day, to own my own theatre and write one play a season for it. Even if it's the one mystery dinner theatre script or the spring manuscript or the fall manuscript of a season. Or one play every other season. I remember that I suggested it to one of my teachers, they told me to produce instead of write the plays. But I don't think I could be happy with just that. Maybe I'm reaching for the stars, and I'll fall before I can gather them in my fingertips.

Maybe it's impossible.

But that's what makes it a dream job. Right?

You know that you've been playing with your Exacto Blade too much when...

2007-03-04T08:47:00.000-08:00

You can freehand a design in correlation with a poem- on the same sheet of paper
You start doing unpaid commissions at work in your free time
... for the people that come in the shift after yours
... and with a theme that you're only vaguely familiar with
You have used so many different mediums with your knife, you begin to question its strength
... daily
... hourly
... and wonder if it has been blessed by god
You see some red marker on your inner thumb and ask yourself when you accidentally sliced yourself
... and then check yourself for cuts
... and then lick the mark before you realize it's ink
You will spend four hours cutting out a Celtic knot for someone, only to have it disintegrate in your fingertips
... and then have a spare waiting to be cut out

On a very slightly related note, I just recently got a Deviantart profile. Linky here and on the sidebar, below my Fictionpress profile.

Wow, some storm...

2007-03-02T07:38:00.000-08:00

Didn't even rain on my house. Got a tad windy, but didn't rain at all.

I'm both very relieved and slightly disappointed.

Be Careful What You Wish For

2007-03-01T07:16:00.000-08:00

I wished for rain.

We have a tornado warning.

Not just rain, mind you. I wished for rain to wash away everything.

And we have a tornado warning.

I find this very ironic.

So, on a side note... if a dream is a wish your heart makes, then what does that make a nightmare?

In the Thrifty Nickel

2007-02-20T23:33:00.000-08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!! To all my family and friends. Wishing all of your a wonderful and "full of love" Valentine's Day. Mark, Angie, Tony, Michael, Mema and Papa, Grandma and Grandpa, and "new baby" Schormann. I love you all!!! Cheri

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY... LLT REMEMBERING ALL THE VALENTINES' DAYS IN THE PAST... ME

So I found these in the Thrifty Nickel as I resume my search for a second job (partially out of boredom and partially because I refuse to give up on paying Webster back without getting yet another loan- contrary to popular belief, I have not given up on college thank-you-very-much). I know that these were not directed towards me in the least, but it did actually make me smile tonight... not forced, not whimsical... but genuine.

I really wish, more than anything, to step back seven days and then take myself out to Fast Eddies, which was, granted, only a fraction of what I was looking forward to. It's just that everything I had hoped for fizzed to dust in a matter of hours. I guess I was hoping for too much, wanting to do something special and getting shut down at every turn. I still have the list of things I'd wanted to do with him- and his friends, if they wanted to, too.

Serves me right, I guess. *shakes it off*

No wallowing.

I don't like despair.

It's just... I should have sent myself the second classified. Because Valentine's Day isn't just for lovers. You have to love yourself before anyone else can really love you. I don't even know if I like who I am.

Back to searching for a second job. Maybe I can find myself there.

Whirlwind of Emotion

2007-02-19T21:29:00.000-08:00

Even though I'd been seeing someone, it's a fair thing to make note that much of my relationship with him has been couched in hope.

It's difficult when the one person you want to say, "Don't worry, everything's going to be all right... you'll see..." doesn't. Instead, they say an echo of someone else's words, ending with the wicked wrenching that occurs at the end of any dating situation.

If he's doing what he thinks is right... who am I to argue?

I'm sick of arguing. With him. It got to the point where I'd just listen, and no matter what I thought, what I felt, if he said I didn't, I'd go along with it... because I didn't want to get hurt. Because I was afraid that if I didn't, the spell would be broken, and I'd be back on earth again.

And then there was the letter from Jack Blue.

But someone needs to tell Jack Blue that he was wrong... wrong to give up on me, wrong to rip me to shreds on a weekly basis. I'm never going to give anyone the chance to do that to me again. Because as much as I love- loved- Drac, I never feared him until just before he ended it the first time. I never feared that wicked temper would be turned on me until then.

So now, when I recieved the wrathful vengance in the letter, it reminds me exactly why we're over... because although he swore up and down that he did at the time- he failed to trust me, even though I trusted him. I believed that he would forgive me. He didn't. So when the barbs began, it became a farce of a relationship that eventually became a distorted mirror of what we were...

So I broke his spell on the 24th.

He broke mine months before.

Now we're even.

Isn't that what he wanted?

No More

2007-02-03T17:37:00.001-08:00

Baker: No more questions, please.
No more tests.
Comes the day you say, 'What for?'
Please.. no more.

Mysterious Man: We disappoint, we disappear, we die, but we don't.
They disappoint in turn, I fear,
Forgive, though, they won't.

Baker: No more riddles.
No more jests.
No more curses you can't undo, left by fathers you never knew.
No more quests.
No more feelings. Time to shut the door.
Just.. No more.

Mysterious Man: Running away, let's do it.
Free from the ties that bind.
No more despair, or burdens to bear,
Out there in the yonder.
Running away, go to it.
Where did you have in mind?
Have to take care.. unless there's a 'where',
You'll only be wandering blind.
Just more questions.. different kind.
Where are we to go?
Where are we ever to go?
Running away, we'll do it.
Why sit around, resigned?
Trouble is, son, the farther you run,
The more you'll be wandering blind.
For what you have left undone, and more,
What you've left behind.
We disappoint, we leave a mess, we die, but we don't.

Baker: We disappoint in turn, I guess. Forget, though, we won't.

Both: Like father, like son.

Baker: No more giants waging war!
Can't we just pursue our lives, with our children and our wives,
'Til that happy day arrives, how do you ignore
All the witches, all the curses,
All the wolves, all the lies, the false hopes, the good-bye's,
The reverses,
All the wondering what even worse is still in store!
All the children.
All the giants..
No more.

Shame

2007-02-03T15:39:00.000-08:00

Currently, the best video of slam poetry on Youtube. I think I go back to that page every two weeks for my fix (and since I found it three months ago, that says a lot). Obviously not my video, not my poem. But god, it's poignant. The transcription might be off, but I'm sure you'll get the idea.

This is how much I love you
This is how much I hate you
This is how much I can't live without you

last night I went to a chick's house to fuck
I failed to fuck and got trapped in small talk- TV time
bailed out early

so it's midnight, dark
I'm driving
Destination unknown...
and let me tell you, my car's a ghetto special
been wrecked five times and still driving
protesting engine, wrinkled metal, and new tires
I groan(sp) down the desolate highway for coffee and an automaid(sp)

this fat waitress who works here
she's gently fat, I mean, she isn't ghastly
just childlike in the middle of all her skin

and we always talk
it's meaningless patter
Exes, drugs, money and cars
she's just getting off work and joins me for coffee
I can't help eyeing her enormous tits... thinking...

So I end up in her rattling monster of a car headed to her place
with a bottle in my lap
and she's warning me how annoying her roommate is
and I'm getting worked up inside
(God, finally laid after months)

her apartment is a dark hole
akin to a thrift shop
every corner is piled high with bits of shit
Torn sweaters, a newspaper from '88
an empty birdcage
and in the middle of it all
ah, yes... in the middle
two TV's
one no picture, and the other no sound
and the Jetsons are going so loud!
Ashley!!!

her roommate's a skinny dirty tweeker
he's hunched into a corner of the loveseat
immediately upon entering, he starts talking
first about church:
the church he goes to
why he goes to this one
who the "bad christians" are
(it seems they're all bad christians to him)
the songs they sang
what lines of hymns he disagrees with

then he starts in on the speed
the stuff he scored yesterday
the stuff he's scoring tonight
"God I love it!!!"

it gets later
it goes on so long, I'm starting to wish I'd just jerked off and went to bed
finally Katherine,
fat child,
convinces him to go shave
and shower the eight-day layer of dirt away

and without much preamble, she was unzipping me
I tried to take her shirt off, but she had issues with her fat
we kissed twice and I put it in
worked it in and out five minutes
and it was over

no love

not even sweat

just a grunt
a thanks
and a ride back to my car

This is how much I love you
This is how much I hate you
This is how much I can't live without you

Word of the Day

2007-01-29T23:55:00.000-08:00

des·per·a·tion (děs'pe-rā'shen)
1.
the state of being desperate or of having the recklessness of despair.
2.
the act or fact of despairing; despair.

Example of:
Sitting on the floor, counting the coin jar of pennies, then taking them to the bank and rolling them, and praying it will be enough to just barely get by on for the next 48 hours.

Please, don't ask how my day went after that. You don't want to know.

...

2007-01-25T10:32:00.000-08:00

On a card at mystic valley today:

(outside)
Has anyone told you that you're Beautiful today?

(inside)
Let me.

... damn it...

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

2007-01-25T06:57:00.000-08:00

First thing I need to do today:

Go to Webster, get stuff taken care of.

Second thing I need to do today:

Call Sallie Mae, get stuff taken care of.

Third thing I need to do today:

Sleep.

Funny, I think I go through this pattern at least every semester... different reasons each time, but every semester.

Slight deviation for my long-term necessities, though.

Things to do this month...

Start my loans... darn them. Together, they shall make me cry.
Find out about financial aid for college from work, because I know they can and will do right by me. I'm too close for me to lose out now due to lack of money.
Call H&R block... I'm not falling behind this year on taxes. No way in heck. And I'll see if they can make my back taxes work right, because I've been apparently owing more than I should.
Buy Professor Sempreora an apple.
Re-consider the possibility of a second job, because having "just under enough" money sucks slightly less than not having any money.
Go to Jefferson Barracks, visit mom and grandpa's graves... (Athenae, a little help with this one? God help me, but I don't want to go alone... I don't ever want to go alone again...)
Discard the possibility of a second job, because having a second job may entail going without sleep... or school... which is not an option at the moment.
Cross your fingers, and hope for the best outcome in all possible situations.

Amen.

I need to stop thinking about things...

2007-01-14T14:17:00.000-08:00

And start doing them.

Because this "shoulda-woulda-coulda" life is starting to get under my skin. I've been so reactionary to things that I've stopped taking actions, or rather, making actions that aren't purely out of reactionary measures.

And if I'm making no sense- forgive me. I'll try and explain it all later.

Right now my brain hurts and I haven't the spirit to write more.

Do ya Want your Nickelback?

2007-01-05T06:28:00.000-08:00

Nah, I think I'll be okay.

It's like a remix... without actually changing the speed of the tracks to make them overlap. Don't get me wrong, I like Nickelback, I downright love kicking back to some of their songs. But the pairing of these two songs just happens to match how my mind is right now.

Left speaker, How You Remind Me. Right Speaker, Someday.

Between the two of them, yeah, I think it just about describes my distress and confusion.

A Bittersweet Christmas

2006-12-26T01:47:00.000-08:00

The godfather of soul is dead.

Good night, James Brown.

You and your dodgy hip shall be sorely missed.

Back to Graveyard...

2006-12-11T23:00:00.000-08:00

It's because I can't take all the people and the massive call intake anymore I begged to go back on third shift.

...not really. I'm going to miss second shift, but third shift has way more freedom, and the fifty-cent differential's not bad either. It's only temporary again, until Jelinda has her baby. But since I'm basically at work all the time I don't really have a chance to spend all my money. (Which is fine by me. I need to save up for classes in spring. Yay for being behind schedule. >_>)

Not Even Fair

2006-12-07T07:59:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm back on my normal schedule except for one little minor detail- I can't sleep.

Well, I can physically sleep. For four hours. I think it was three the other day. But at work I was nearly falling asleep on my keyboard from boredom, lack of calls, and sheer exhaustion. Getting home might've been a problem if Tarrith hadn't called me with a nifty excursion of creativity to explore later. (When it happens, I'll tell more.)

I could really use a suggestion for a knock-me-out method besides a hot toddy.

Maybe it has to do with the moon.

Last night I was walking back inside the building after moving my car from a disturbingly unlit part of the lot to a closer spot so I wouldn't have to walk so far at the end of my shift. After all, I thought that the cold air might wake me up, as the soda I'd had didn't have nearly enough caffine to make a dent in my resistance. So there I am, crossing the lot when there's a shower if silver light that spreads across the parking lot, beginning somewhere from my left-hand side.

Sure enough, I look left, and up, and there's the saucer-sized moon peeking out from a hole in the translucent clouds.

Either the moon attacked me, or the lack of sleep is making me hallucinate.

Never the Time and the Place

2006-12-04T23:46:00.000-08:00

Never the time and the place
And the loved one all together!
This path--how soft to pace!
This May -- what magic weather!
Where is the loved one's face?
In a dream that loved one's face meets mine,
But the house is narrow, the place is bleak
Where, outside, rain and wind combine
With a furtive ear, if I strive to speak,
With a hostile eye at my flushing cheek,
With a malice that marks each word, each sign!
O enemy sly and serpentine,
Uncoil thee from the waking man!
Do I hold the Past
Thus firm and fast
Yet doubt if the Future hold I can?
This path so soft to pace shall lead
Thro' the magic of May to herself indeed!
Or narrow if needs the house must be,
Outside are the storms and strangers: we
Oh, close, safe, warm sleep I and she.
I and she!

~~ Robert Browning

Someone dropped it on a private message in Yahoo books and lit. It made me happy, so I'm putting it here...

Next year...

2006-12-04T23:40:00.000-08:00

Next year, when I do Script Frenzy, no matter what else is going on in my life, I will do it.

Because it's just too close to my main passion.

Just like I'm too far into Fallen to give up at 10,900+ words. Giving up is easy. Making a novel that you care too much for to let go of- priceless.

For a novel in a month, there's NaNoWriMo.
For everything else, there's life.

10,000 words!

2006-11-19T19:36:00.000-08:00

Yay! +10,000 words.

If I get to 25,000 by the end of the month, then I'll be happy, being as I already started late.

Updating my fictionpress profile with it now. However, I would mention that it is rough, thick, and incomplete. Also, the count on my counter should be vaguely different... I have a few selections that need a fair bit of patching in-between before I can put them together.

Edit: You can read the first 10,000 words here. The ending paragraphs of the last two sections are loose- and ready to be added to some more. Escuse. ^^

Fallen

2006-11-14T16:21:00.000-08:00

My NaNoWriMo profile has an excerpt, and I'd like to know what you think.

Tell me.

Please?

NaNoWriMo

2006-11-13T15:22:00.000-08:00

Hey, I've got nothing to do at work, I have a couple thousand words written after typing my rantbook, I started the thing while I was at work on the first day of November.

Could be fun- always wanted Kiringa to have his own novel...

I'll post what I have on my Fictionpress Profile every time I hit a 10,000 word mark. The goal is 50,000 words, and I completely forgot about NaNoWriMo until last night. Always wanted to do it, and this is my chance.

Besides, I've got nothing better to do this month, and if I don't write this now, I don't think my favorite fallen will ever forgive me.

Must... read...

2006-11-12T22:43:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm compiling a list of things that I need to slowly buy until I have the complete collections of.

Not including the manga series that I have and am working towards completing, I want to buy the entire collection Elizabeth Peter's works, Ray Bradbury's works (books, dvds, what-have-you), Terry Prachett, and the "Kingdom for Sale: SOLD!" series by Terry Brooks.

Oh, and on my list to read, but not to buy as of yet: The Sword of Shannara series.

Anything else that I need to keep my eye out for while I'm working shifts that greatly add to my reading time?

In addendum- Yes, I've read The Da Vinci Code. I might buy myself the Series of Unfortunate Events now that it's all out. Asimov is good, not sure if I want to buy his full works or not. It's been forever since I read the Left Behind series- don't know if I'm ready to start collecting it yet. I recently bought a tome featuring complete works of Edgar Allen Poe. I have the complete works of Shakespeare. I also have no desire to lug either massive book into work.

I go to scamper off and buy caffinated beverages for work tomorrow night. Ta!

Oh, And...

2006-11-06T23:29:00.000-08:00

Halloween was good times.

Wore 80'sness to work and brought in my mask- I think I kind of won the contest by default. No confirmation on that just yet. But from what I understood, I was the only one that bothered to bring in a mask at all, and Will was kind of impressed by what I did. ^^

Got off work an hour early, scurried over to Jessi's for partyness with chocolate liquor shots. Von, Jess, Lar, Brookie, and baby Beth all sat around until Laura had to scamper, then Von, Jess, and I all looked at old yearbooks until we all crashed- well, until I crashed. I don't know exactly when they did.

Anywho, Halloween was indeed good times. Now I just have to figure out what to do with my Madonna gloves.

On a very, very grave subject...

2006-11-06T23:16:00.000-08:00

I'm going to be working third shift for about two weeks in November, and I've never looked forward to working graveyard more in my entire life.

Well, that's because I've never actually worked a midnight-till-seven shift before. This could be one of two things:

Very good- I mean, the shift's slow, the people are more likely to be drunk and therefore more entertaining, the calls come in about once or twice an hour, and I can spend lots of time reading my book. I get about a buck extra an hour for third-shift deferential, and as long as Tylenol makes my headache go away, I shouldn't have any problem with a small caffeine addiction by the end of the month.

Very bad - Think about it. The shift's slow, and therefore boring. People are more likely to be drunk, and therefore either annoyed or annoying. And if I get done with my book... well, then I won't be a happy Moueska. And the money- Still can't think of anything bad to say about the money. But you get my point.

That in mind, I launch into graveyard shift one full week from now. It really sounds like a blast.

Oh, and then, on top of that, I'll be working third shift on Thanksgiving, and my probationary period will be over. Yay for my raise and holiday pay! Probably won't get to hear about my raise until Friday when my manager and I both work. But I've been Aceing my call monitors, not to mention that I've gotten a couple attagirls from customers so far.

I know I shouldn't get used to it, but I really, really want to celebrate. ^^

Usher, the House Of

2006-10-19T16:20:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was tired- but not too tired. Not tired enough to sleep. I tried, oh, I did try. For two hours I lay in bed and listened to music, nothing pushing me over the edge. So I got up. And stretched. And realized- I have business to attend to for work.

There's a mask contest at work, and I knew that although I wouldn't be able to wear it, I could certainly make one for the competition. So I scuttled out to Walgreens to see if they had any cheap fabric masks that I could paint. Amusingly enough, they had a sale on masks, but no fabric, un-decorated ones. But there were, however, foam ones at 39 cents each- I bought five with the coins I'd extracted from my coin jar and scurried home. Breaking out my fabric paints, I silently attacked them one by one, leaving me with a near-finished green-on black, a silver-on-black harlequin print on another, and a netted beginning on a third- to be laced with paper of a folded variety. I really, really hope I don't get beat by someone who just went ahead and bought theirs for six bucks, finished, from Walgreens.

After all, I almost did.

Truth be told, I had more fun painting them than I ever would have had just buying the finished one.

Now Doesn't That Just Figure

2006-10-08T02:12:00.000-07:00

Dierbergs across from where I work has French Silk Pie.

And not just any common variety, mind you. It's the real thing. Tippin's French Silk Pie.

In single slices, small and large pies.

Of course, I don't need it now.

But damn. Doesn't that just figure...

Holy Gods...

2006-10-05T14:15:00.000-07:00

I've officially found where I want to buy my costumes from if I ever get rich and famous. Brute Force Leather has some incredible designs- but if you look at the prices of the wearable sculptures in their fantasy collection, it will most certainly have you choking on your wallet. I'm particularly fond of the gargoyle armor, but the pirate map corset and costume has caught my eye for the renaissance faire (and what would be every Halloween after it).

Granted, not all the links are work safe, some might argue that none of them are. Peruse with caution. Oh, and if you're still trying to figure out what to get me for my birthday (or my half-birthday, next week), then there's always this shirt.

Mission: H.A.L.L.O.W.E.E.N.

2006-10-01T00:40:00.000-07:00

Hearing
About
Lavicious
Lounges
Over
Witches
Ending
Evening
Naughtily

I want to do something for Halloween after I get off work at midnight. Can we please find something for me to do?

The Top Ten Reasons why one should visit the KC Renn Faire

2006-09-25T23:35:00.000-07:00

10. Nikolai Boleynand his crazy gypsy accent.
Or any of his brother's crazy gypsy accents. All the sons of the maestro have to be heard to be believed. Nikolai should be one of the maestro's sons wandering around, possibly freezing, with a half-vest, one yellow pants leg, one blue pants leg, and a yellow gypsy scarf. He may or may not be in the process of wooing young women.

9. Queen Elizabeth, who is great.
She's a fun sort of character meeting those who curtsy with a, "Well met, rise." This year, she's entertaining a French suitor who has plenty of fops which also must be seen and played with. I didn't get to play with many of the actors, but it was fun indeed. Also, if you choose the "Tea with the Queen" package at the beginning of your visit, the fee also includes your ticket into the faire, so you might as well visit with royalty, no?

8. Tambourines of Flame: The Gypsy Show!
No, it doesn't feature Nikolai, but it does headline his brother, Adonis. An esoteric show in the fashion of old-old-old school song and dance, it's lots of fun and worth a watch.

7. Turkey legs.
There. I've said it. Turkey legs are easily one of the best reasons to go to a Renaissance Faire. As are Scotch Eggs, Mead, and Sausage-on-a-stick. Faire fare, delicious.

6. Jousting.
Yay jousting! Horses and weapons and even a joust to the death at the end! With spurting blood! Huzzah!

5. Christmas Shopping.
Oh, I know that it may be a long way to travel for Christmas shopping. But truth be told, if I'd had enough time, I would have found something for all of my friends at the Renn Faire. We just spent most of the time trying to figure out the map to get from show to show, so we didn't get to shop as much as I had hoped. (Pay attention to the key at the bottom... the line goes north-east/south-west, silly!) Then again, I know that there was no possible way that we could catch all of the shows- and jousts- and shop- and catch Nicolai- all at once. But we tried! We really tried!

Anyway, there are 162 shops, including one that disappeared while we were at the festival. If you don't hit them all, no sweat. Just come back next week!

4. The Washing Wenches: The Wench Show.
Oh, good times... good times indeed. If you go, and sit in the front rows, be prepared that you might become sprinkled at some point in the show. Bawdy, clean fun. Bawdy, soapy, dirty, clean fun.

3. Games, Games, Games...
Like any good fairground, there's a veritable plethora of games to choose from, including- but not limited to- knife throwing, star throwing, dart throwing, hatchet throwing, "guess the weight", and so on. If you win, you get a sticker, bragging rights, and nifty prizes to boot.

2. Fae, Farmers, Mages, and Fops.
Upon entering the park, you can notice two types of people. Those dressed for the party, and those who aren't. Now, take a look at the ones gussied up in character. Actors? Visitors? Can you tell the difference? Between the Vulgarians, who dress to impress, and the computer programmer who wakes up one morning and says "I think I'll be Gandalf today," half the fun is elbowing a wizard in the ribs and asking him to hex your ex. And if not, be sure to play fetch with the doggie-beggar.

1. The Grand Finale.
At the end, there is a small mass exodus to the front of the grounds, but mostly because everyone else is there. All the entertainers move towards the front, bringing everyone else with them. The Vulgarians, the Pirates, the Maestro, even the Queen creating a rousing party that shouldn't be missed if you intend to spend any part of the day. Complete with a gypsy revel at the end, it is worth your time and your feet.

ARRRRRRR!!!

2006-09-18T23:28:00.000-07:00

I be terribly ashamed, terribly so.

Aye, for I nearly missed me annual post of Talk like a Pirate day... For shame... for shame indeed. However, if you've missed it as well, fear not. For I bring ye
How To Talk Like A Pirate.

Watch it, ye scurvy dog.

Live it, Cap'n.

Learn it, Jim lad.

And be leaving me comments with yer piratey knowledge.

Loopy

2006-09-13T11:03:00.000-07:00

Got my schedule for next week.

I cut myself short on hours, but that's all right. I mean, I am going to KC that weekend... so I've basically got a five-day weekend next week. Hell yeah and yee-haw!

My room's a sight. I'm getting on that just as soon as I get my little incidents straight over here. I mean, I know most of it's paper and the rest is clothes, but my thighs have fallen asleep twice in the past sixteen hours, so I'm going to get out of the house.

Can someone wake me up when September ends?

Or... Wait... don't... my paycheck's going to be small enough the first week of October as it is without me sleeping through the rest of the month...

It's kind of funny...

2006-09-09T12:20:00.000-07:00

I know in my last blog, I said that it was nice for things to be calm. And it is. But I'm starting to wonder if I can function without just a little bit of chaos in my life. Once things get orderly, I know that there's something about to happen, but I can't figure out what.

Oh, well. I'll figure it out, eventually.

Either that, or someone could help me create a little chaos. I'm usually pretty good about doing that on my own, though.

..........Well, if nothing else, I'm secure in this as upcoming wildness: RENN FAIRE KC IN TWO WEEKS! WOO!!! My first road trip in over two years.

You know, I'm feeling more normal and still relaxed at the same time. That's got to be a good sign, right?

Septemblog

2006-09-04T22:59:00.000-07:00

Wow. Is it really September?

It's like I've blinked and suddenly my life's changed. Twice. All in the past month. Just think- This time, two months ago, I was at T.J. Maxx, crying about my pay check and completely fearful that I'd never be able to go back to college. Alternately, I would be at T.J. Maxx, determined that I would have a job by the end of the month, no matter if it was just out of retail or a large-scale job.

Last year, September, 2005:
I was shuddering from the aftermath of Katrina, helping the victims who came through the line at T.J. Maxx, watching them tell their stories to each other- to ME, uncertain of their future. Not sure where they'd spend the night, if family would take them in- or just driving to get away from their homes and find life... anywhere other than where they were.

This time, last year, I was starting my creative writing class, feeling the weight on my shoulders of lack of experience, lack of emotion, the eternal editorial voice telling me that I should never have taken a class that involved poetry. But I did. And, you know, I don't think I came away from that class with any one story, poem, or thought that I'm not proud of.

Two years ago, September, 2004:
I was unemployed, and draining my funds slowly. What I had built up in my account began to empty as I had begun to find out that the best thing to do on campus was bring an apple with me, and hang out in the cybercafe. I grew a steady, horrific internet addiction that became a near-problem in opposition to my growing list of books and plays that were obviously more important. And I did pay attention to those books and plays- giving them the attention they deserved.

My class list- though not overwhelming, was particularly hard to keep up with. However, the problem came with understanding. You see? To understand a play, I have to read it. I have to feel it. I've had more luck recently with getting people to read with me- or maybe the next time I have a Shakespeare play, I should find a good book-on-tape to read with. I don't know...

Three years ago, September, 2003:
Working at Wolf's, taking the bus to and from the house where I'd been born, wandering Webster, learning the Metrolink, walking... just walking in the morning before the sun even rose, some mornings, and listening to my CD player on my way to catch the first bus. Then, the second bus. I was looking forward to Hot Chocolate, but certainly not ready to start buying it yet- not until at least the end of the month, at any rate.

This time, 2003, I was cleaning roses and putting them in tissue paper, wiring flowers for wedding bouquets, floral-taping fall leaves for winter bouquets. I was watching the leaves rustle, and being teased by Jillian for being a dork. (And I am a dork. I don't even bother to deny it anymore. But I'm still not a nerd. I'm not completely socially inept. I also don't like math and don't do pocket protectors. But I digress.) I made my excuses as to why I didn't go see Mom's grave- no way to get there, etc. Maybe I was afraid of how I'd feel.

I miss Wolf's. Can you tell? I need to bring them pie.

~*~

And that brings me back to this year. This time of year. What's been going on with me? Oh, nothing too ridiculously much. For the first time that I can remember, I'm not stressed, pressed, pushed, frightened, worried, alone, scared, wound tight, or completely directionless. I'm... here.

It's disconcerting, especially when you've been on edge for the past three months.

I kind of like it, though. Gives me more time to focus on my Mammoth book of Pulp Fiction.

Happy September, everybody.

Mending hearts

2006-08-29T11:28:00.000-07:00

It may take a while, but... I think we're going to be okay. It'll be hard, but... I think we're going to be okay. I want us to be okay...

I do love him. And he- who said he didn't- loves me.

And we're back togeather.

And I got my french silk pie.

.....God is in his heaven and all is right with the world.....

Attagirl!

2006-08-21T21:00:00.000-07:00

I got an attagirl at work!

I took a phone reservation at work for this guy in Finland for a conference being held at one of our hotels, and the poor guy had a two-year old screaming in the background for the better part of the phone call. He had a fairly thick accent, but was fluent in English, so the only trouble I had was understanding him spell out the names of his street and his card numbers.

He sent an e-mail to my supervisors, and they put me on the "Shining Star" wall.

I'm not even out of training until the end of the week, so I'm not letting it go to my head ego-trip wise. But...

I guess it's just... I'm actually doing well at this. I love my new job, for example.

I mean, I know I'm in the honeymoon period. I know that this might not last. I know that I shouldn't get used to this.

All the same, I don't think I've had a job feel this right other than Wolf's. That, in itself, is something to be happy about.

On the rocks

2006-08-09T23:16:00.000-07:00

Nothing much to say about recent things... except that it's a Bailey's Knock-off on the Rocks night. It's funny... I had about six hours of sleep between the past two days, and I didn't sleep when I got off work- I rested, but didn't sleep. I could have fallen asleep at work, but didn't, because... well, that wouldn't be terribly professional, now would it?

And now I can't sleep. It bothers me...

...owch...

2006-08-05T05:07:00.000-07:00

Okay.

My throat is so sore that it's hurt every time I yawned in the past three days.

Home remedies? Preferably something that I can do besides the salt-water and baking soda thing. Or hot lemon water. Or a spoonfull of honey.

Something I haven't tried.

And maybe, if I'm lucky, someone might bring me chicken soup.

(*whines* Athene... bring me chicken soup!!!)

Kind of Broken...

2006-08-02T14:15:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting at home with what appears to be the beginnings of a sore throat and can only ask myself one thing.

Am I getting sick because I'm tired?

Or am I getting tired of being sick?

Saying goodbye to people at work has been pretty tough so far. I've been pointing them to GreatHires.org, and telling them how I got started with the Missouri Job Search place. Even so, they're leaving the door open for me. If I wanted to, I could work there during the week, and work Adam's Mark during the night and weekends. God, that would be a lot of work, though.

I might faint.

I mean, I did feel faint last night at the end of work. I caught myself on the counter just before a customer got up to my register. She didn't notice anything wrong.

Maybe there's nothing wrong with me.

Maybe it's just a sore throat.

Happy Dance! Happy Dance!

2006-07-30T08:09:00.000-07:00

Did you know that the corporate offices of the Adam's Mark are right here in town? I didn't. I'd sent off a cover letter and my resume to the HBE corporation due to an ad found on Greathires.org and about four days later I recieve a phone call for an interview- not bad, since I wasn't really expecting anything to come from my job search that day.

Anywho, HBE is the umbrella company that owns the Adam's Mark Hotel chain, of which there are currently five hotels. HBE's corporate offices are on Olive, a hop, skip, and a jump away from my Westport campus. Yay!

Yay Yay Yay!!!

It's a full-time position, 8.25 an hour, I can get all my bills paid, I can take part-time classes slowly at Webster year-round and finish everything up. They have tuition assistance. They have health benefits. I haven't seen one downside, financially, to me getting this job.

And I did get it, by the way. On Friday morning they called me with an official offer. I leapt.

Then I had to put in my two weeks where I currently work. The worst part was handing in my letter of resignation to my manager- the one who hired me. I hoped he wouldn't be in. After all, T.J. Maxx gave me a chance to earn something to put gas in my car, and I think I learned more about teamwork and flux of workload there than at any other location. If one person called off, we all felt it.

But my two weeks are in, and I offered my services for the following week. I work this week as it's on the schedule, and after that, weekends while I'm being trained. Then I'll be an Adam's Mark employee full-time. HUZZAH!!!

HUZZAH HUZZAH HUZZAH!!!

*dances*

Single again.

2006-07-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

All right.

Bob thinks I need a sign that says "You need to be this much in love with Moues in order to ride this ride". Maybe with a life-sized cardboard cutout of me.

Well... it'll be a while before I post that sign, so I think I'll be single for a while. I mean, I was single for nineteen years. This time I think I'll be able to really enjoy it. Don't get me wrong- I'm very hurt (after all, I was the one in love at the point of the breakup), and I'll be healing for a while, too.

And that's all I have to say on it.

whew

2006-07-21T12:00:00.000-07:00

My godmother checked in with me after she found out that I'd called her niece. She's staying with a friend. I'm just glad she's all right.

One Big Oversize Bottle of Visine...

2006-07-20T18:08:00.000-07:00

That's what Honeytown needs right now.

Something to make all the red spots on Ameren UE's blackout map to clear up. It was in the background during one of the newscasts concerning the citywide splotchy blackout- where some of the north county residents are boiling water, others have neither water nor electricity, and still others have recently had electricity restored to them. I never knew that I'd be so greatful to live out in Ballwin.

I have to give major props to all the local clear channel stations that banded togeather to broadcast a united voice of help, hope and continual updates that could be heard by everyone. My family had on KLOU last night when the lights started flickering, and this morning I couldn't even find KSLZ on the dial. It wasn't until after I got off work that I heard what they were trying to accomplish in this crisis (albiet not as big as Katrina, but still a crisis nonetheless), that I really realized the effect that this was having on the community.

Granted, with all the customers trying to escape the heat by shopping at TJ Maxx, I should have realized. This was not just a few small grids. This is entire counties.

There's not a single hotel room to be found in the entire city, or any of its surrounding counties- calling out as far as Wentzville. There are cooling centers throughout the area- turn to a clear channel station such as 103.3, 100.3, or 107.7 to find out more information.

I still can't get in touch with one of my elderly family members. I hope she's all right.

I hope that by the end of this, everyone's all right.

Left Side of Law?

2006-07-19T14:39:00.000-07:00

It's good to be on the right side of the law again.

My warrant's been rescinded, and I have to pay the court fees, which is just fine with me. I'm just glad to have it all out of the way. My car's title came in the mail. (Yay! No more car-shaped little black cloud hanging over me. Well, besides the loan. But that's not too bad.)

So Cthulhu in his dark, creepy mystical way has guided me to completing my little life crisis. (Actually, it was probably the deity who lives upstairs instead of Lovecraft's etherial Elder God- but now we're getting into logistics, idols, and names.) Hallelujah!

In other news...

Not too terribly much going on with me. I just had my first real interview for a real, actual position instead of one of those twenty-minute high-energy sales pitches for "management trainees" who usually drop out within the first two weeks. A real interview!!

I'm still insanely jealous about my brother's job. He'll probably write up something about it in his blog when he begins again at KCAI. Let's just say that I severely wish I lived in Kansas City just for the opportunity to work there.

The new Superman movie was iconic, but it left you feeling as though nothing had really changed in Metropolis, or in Clark Kent's life, which was a pity. To quote Drac: "That was a nice episode of Superman." I also saw "Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest". I'd highly suggest it for anyone who liked the first one. If you didn't like the first, then odds are, you're not going to like the second either. If you adored the first, then you certainly won't be disappointed. It's a real adventure.

Step three of (Cthulhu Knows) Complete

2006-07-08T07:50:00.000-07:00

My title application is in the system, Big Daddy's mangled plates are off my car thanks to his help, and my new plates are in place!

(I would like to take a second to note that the mangled plates were, indeed, not his fault but mine entirely. Thank you.)

In other news...

My headhunting outfit hasn't found any leads for me. At all.

Now... I signed up over a month ago. You'd think there'd be a bite or something, especially since my resume's in the hands of the "vice president of sales" (according to her buisness card). She's also been dangling a temp job carrot in front of me, too. Unfortunately, each time I ask about it, the person that I'm supposed to hear from is out of the office. When I called yesterday, the temp-woman was on vacation.

I'm going to put a few more lines in the water and see what I can come up with.

Maybe I'll get a good bite.

Step one of (Cthulhu Knows) Complete

2006-06-27T17:18:00.000-07:00

I have insurance again!

Yay!

Tentative breakdown that equals the Cthulhu Knows...

1. Get Car Insurance.

2. Get lawyer, because apparently any contact that I have with the St. Louis County police department will get me locked up and sent to jail.

3. Get title re-notorized.

4. Take title to the DMV.

Aaaand... I think that's all so far. I'm sure that more will crop up in-between, but it sounds like a good start.

Mr. Pleasant Shady Cop Says...

2006-06-26T17:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm working on getting things going, including- but not limited to- getting the title changed on the car.

I've also got a traffic ticket.

And lack car insurance.

So that requires me draining my college fund.

Oh, this just keeps getting better.

But because I refuse to have a completely depressing post, I'll let you marvel at the stupidity of me.

I'd forgotten about the speeding ticket, and it was bestowed upon me in April. Not a smart thing... the excuse at the time was lack of money and my insurance that was beginning to run out. So in the midst of everything else, I did the most illogical thing concievable and put it off.

And so...

Three months pass, and I'm still trying to get the title switched over, including a month's wait to clean out my education fund. Isn't it terrible? I'm using the last of the money that my grandfather put aside for college to get the title switched to my name. So I finally get the check in the mail last week, and prepare to get it put in the bank, which is where the more recent fun stuff begins.

So I'm sitting in the parking lot of Arsenal Credit Union after closing work on Friday night. No big rush for the check on my lap, still in its UPS envelope. Someone pulls up next to me, and I can see a cop go in and come out of the main doors of the credit union. Engrossed in my conversation, I can just barely note the movement of the car from its position next to me to behind my vehicle in my rearview mirror.

He knocks on my window and the following conversation ensues.

Me: Good evening officer.
Him: Are you all right?
Me: Yes... Is there something wrong?
Him: Did you know that you have a warrant out for your arrest?
Me: .............
Him: You'd better get off the phone so we can talk.

He wanders off to run my driver's license, and returns. I protest my innocence in forgetting about the ticket for a time (which I honestly had), and that the solution to my problems was the money on my lap. (Which it was.) Even so, he decided to play good tough cop and let me off with the equivalent of a warning and a nice teensy lecture.

"It seems you have a bit of a problem. You see, you haven't shown me that you're responsible, since you haven't gotten Honeytown County's ticket taken care of. And I don't know if you have anyone you can call to pick you up, or if you want to just sit on the phone and talk for a while, but I'm from Webster Groves. In order to get back to Ballwin, you're gonna have to go through my territory. And if I see you drive off this parking lot, I will arrest you, and lock you up."

I called dad.

And so...

Because I put it in the ATM instead of the night deposit, it doesn't hit my account until tonight. So tonight I hit up Progressive Online for a quote, and hit up Esurance one last time- and I'll have step one of (Cthulhu knows how many {but doesn't care}) steps complete.

Oh, right... and another thing...

I found my ticket, but not before calling up the St. Louis County Police Department.

Me: Excuse me sir, I hate to bother you, but I recently found out that I have a speeding ticket, and I really want to get it taken care of.
Mr. Pleasant Shady Cop: All right, do you know where it came from?
Me: Well, the officer said that it was out of St. Louis County when he told me about it.
Mr. P. S. C.: And where did you get pulled over at?
Me: It was at Big Bend, out in Ballwin.
Mr. P. S. C.: Well, you can go right over to the Precinct at Big Bend and Sulphur Springs and they can help you there. Just make sure that you bring a photo id.
Me: Oh, I know right where that is!
Mr. P. S. C.: Yup. Just head right over there, and they'll take care of you.

Apparently "take care of you" means "lock you up" in code. I walked up, not wanting them to randomly run my license and arrest me for driving five minutes up there without insurance. Lucky for me, they refused to run my driver's license with the knowledge that I had a warrant in front of them. If they ran it, then they would have been under obligation to take me to the precinct and...

You guessed it! Clink!

So, yeah... I backed my way out of the precinct and high-tailed it back home.

I said that I'd get the ball rolling on Monday... I think I moved it an inch. But at least it moved...

Oh, right..

2006-06-15T14:16:00.000-07:00

Before I forget, I just wanted to draw a teensy bit of attention to the teensy button on the sidebar.

Spam Poison is a website that basically sucks spambots in and spits them out into lists and lists of spammer-generated e-mails. Isn't that lovely?

On a PrIvatE subject:

2006-06-15T14:05:00.000-07:00

I desire a single peice French Silk pie.

I refuse to buy the frozen Tippin's French Silk Pie for various reasons, beginning with the fact that I obviously do not require a whole pie. I need only one peice. Also, I remember that at one time you could buy Tippin's incredible French Onion Soup and French Silk Pie fresh.

I also have been frivolously hunting for it on varous menus. I can heartily say that although the French Silk cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory is very good, it still does not fill the void that Tippin's has created.

What does this stem from? Ah, well... they say that most women reach for ice cream if they're depressed, or if it comes to matters of the heart. I enjoy ice cream, but that flaw was replaced about four years ago with an away message of "I want Pie."

I never did get that piece of pie- not really. Oh, I've had my share of coconut creams and even a couple lemon. Pumpkin pie is a necessity for Thanksgiving- even possibly as early as Halloween-

But I don't hardly touch them.

If you should find a restauraunt with French Silk Pie in the St. Louis area, do let me know. I'd be forever greatful.

Pre-wedding Jam

2006-06-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this post on Grandma Hanchen's bed.

It won't get posted until I get back from Cape G., but I'll have the date and time jotted at the top right-hand corner when I get done.

I need to visit Athene more often. I really do. I mean... I've been to her house three times, counting today. John's great for her, and- well- anytime I hang out with the two of them, I know I'm going to be trying something new. They've been living togeather for two years now... a bit more than that, possibly.

Athene's lease ran out the same day that we were supposed to be out of the old house. That was roughly two years ago.

Anywho...

Today the trio of bridesmaids and my sister had our pictures taken at Byrnes Mill, and I want them to come out well. I want them to so very badly. We were running late for several reasons, and it began with my sister's wedding dress. She was going to have to pick it up anyway, but Athene recieved an urgent phone call saying that the seamstress was in the hospital- she'd have to come early instead of putting it on there.

Not a huge deal, per se. And then was the mad flurry to put on make-up and do hair. By some happy accident- or would it be serendipitous conincidence? T and John's sister chose the exact same color for their bridesmaid's dresses. With myself as the maid of honor, it worked out great. Different styles of dresses for everyone, with a coral color for me. T lent everyone hairbands at the last moment, and we were off!

It all feels like a blur so far... I remember visiting the thrift shop, Broussards, playing on the dance pad, finally finding a plug for my laptop and swearing not to actually use it for the rest of the trip, and especially a sillhouette picture of my sister that I will be very sore over if it doesn't come out.

And then we have the wedding coming up.

I can hardly wait.

(Originally written June 2, 2006 at 11:00 pm)

On Things of a Bridal Nature

2006-05-27T06:22:00.000-07:00

My sister's getting married.

My sister's getting married!

My dress is finally done, I chewed my boss out for scheduling me over the wedding (which she changed), and my sister's getting married! I'm supposed to go down to Cape G. on Thursday with her, and tonight- with any luck about five of us are supposed to go hang out with Athene for her bachlorette party. The bridal shower was fun- I couldn't have done it without Kay's help.

Well, I could have, but it would probably have been a heckuvalot less organized. But we had a few party games, and cake, and k'bitzed. And then there was Brookie and Bethany, who were little angels most of the afternoon. (Of course, Brookie sometimes has to remind us that she's not an angel, but then you get into the "id" and freud- and let's not, shall we?) They gave Gala a nice puppy-workout.

Gotta head off to work!

This entry was yoinked from notebook paper dated and

Floating Glass Onions

2006-05-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

Yup, my birthday's come and gone...

I've been refusing to post for the sake of posting, in hopes that what I do post, when I post it, will be insightful, but to tell the truth- part of it's laziness. And who needs a lazy post, I ask you?

(I think I'll just let that hang there for a bit.)

So I'm twenty-two. I wish I could say that I feel older for it, I really do. But the only thing that seems to come with my age is the knowledge of the responsibilities that I should have gotten taken care of when I wast twenty-one. Or twenty. Feh, who needs it.

I guess you could say that I really haven't changed at all.

To be fair, I did have a good birthday-

Took my last exam late due to a mishap with my syllabus. Lucky me- thank god Professor Sempreora let me time myself and take it late. That makes three apples that I owe her. One from when she helped me schedule for my classes a few semesters ago- one from when I popped into her office to talk one day without having eaten, and she let me have one from a fruit bowl in the room. And now one more. Maybe I'll just send her a fruit basket for being so awesome.

After my frighteningly long test, I scooted out towards my old stomping grounds to pick up Amethist, but with a bit of leeway run-time. If you're ever in Affton, stop by Arabesque Jewelers. They're right on Gravois, just shy of Gravois and Mackenzie. I popped in to get my ring cleaned and chat with the owner like I used to do when I lived at the Affton house. Couldn't get it all the way sparkly, though- the owner suggested that I drop it off some day while I'm doing errands out there so that she can leave it in the machine. She's told me in the past that blue topaz sucks up dirt worse than diamonds, but... fwoosh.

Picked up Amethist and we headed back out Gravois to Grandma's for birthday dinner. And then, the Botanical Gardens.

Now, I adore the Botanical Gardens. I've always loved them: rain, shine, snow, even in fog. It's always beautiful- the Temerpate House, the Climatron, and the gorgeous Japanese Garden. I drool over the open blooms, dance in the fountains, wander in and out of the Kemper Center for no particular reason except the oasis of water fountains that it hides on its lower level. And for my birthday I got to see it in an entirely different way.

Dale Chihuly, one of my absolute favorite artists (as well as a complete genius, I might add), has recently contracted an installation for the Missouri Botanical Gardens by the name of Glass in the Gardens. It left me in complete awe.

Everywhere I looked, the light teased the shapes and left little trickles of excitement down my spine. Floating glass orbs and onion-shaped features bobbed in many of the ponds and still-waters that appeared throughout the garden. They swayed, swirled, and danced in the dull light with the sound of big band in the distance. Of course, the fact that the sun was setting by the time we got to the Climatron only hightened the experience- the figures inside were lit with various lights throughout the building.

We didn't get to see all of it, and I know that I want to go back before they take down everything. I want to see what they've done to the Japanese Gardens, and see the new Children's Garden in the light of day. (Yay! It looks like a river town! It really looks like a page from Tom Sawyer or Huck Finn.)

If I can start my twenty-second year by stepping into a new view, there's got to be some way for me to keep it close.

A year of transition- you know, that's not a bad idea...

Webcomics Awareness Day: On Evolution

2006-05-05T10:57:00.000-07:00

This year, I'm not going to list all of my webcomics that I'm reading currently. I've only got a few to add to the list, but I'd really suggest all of the webcomics in the previous Webcomics Awareness Day posts. Totally.

They are here, here, and here.

But today, I wanted to bring up the transient nature of some of these webcomics. Sometimes the author just doesn't have the time to update anymore, or they lose their zeal. Or perhaps something more personal steps in the way and they just don't have the energy to keep at it.

Hiatus.

Extinction.

Disappearance.

It happens to many of them, so many that no-one ever looks at besides a small audience. I could always cite my no-effort attempt to start one, but with nothing more than a single update- I don't even call it a webcomic. I might as well have just snagged a deviantart profile and put my scribble up there. (Which people tell me I ought to do anyway- but that's another story...)

No, I'm talking about the abrupt disappearance of Kiagi Swordscat. The domain went from the hands of Kiagi's creater, Aric Hooley, to a blank page which cited a 404 error for about a month. This was after a hiatus of about two months, preceded by sporadic updates.

Beginning with Keenspace and Comicgenesis, it officially moved to become a Brainstorm Unlimited-only comic in April of 2005. You can see the archives up to its move at the comicgenesis site.

Hoo, if you're still out there, we miss you, and hope you're doing okay. Give us a sign- a forum post- anything.

Geeksalad's still on hiatus, and I still have hope for Warwick. Altermeta has been pulled from the web with hopes of a complete revamp for the world that Casey Young has created. Spare Parts has been revived.

James LiGate, creator of Savvie and Lacey, brought up some interesting thoughts about the evolution of his particular little corner of the web for his annual WebComics Awareness contribution. (The link should lead to a PG-13 part of the site, however the actual webcomic archives and site is rated as mature. You have been warned.)

To all new webcomic artists out there- don't let this post discourage you from starting one- please! All that you need to start a webcomic is you. You don't need an audience, or anything more than a medium of creation and a camera.

Photoshop helps too. But MS paint works.

Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone!