Wow. I'm hurt.

I went to the Missouri career center. I mean, it had worked last time- got me the job at Adam's Mark, and I was scared because I needed guidance and didn't have anywhere to turn. So I went.

The economy is in a downturn- I know this. Unemployment is high. I know this, too. But I'm not looking forward to the end of the month when my bank account will be overdrafted four times in quick succession when the rest of my college loans kick in. I'm about ready to cry, and this sucks.

At the job center, I got a one-on-one interview where she basically pointed out my resources, gave me my id, but failed to give me my correct password. I got to figure that little mishap out myself. (She automatically assumed it was the default- birthdate. Wrongo.) At the end, I remembered that the last time I'd come, the person who kind of nudged me in the right direction mentioned that they had seminars open to the unemployed and the general workforce (i.e. people off the street- like I was at the time... as well as the present).

The woman at the reception desk corroberated with what I had thought, and my interviewer basically had passed over the schedule of open classes because she had thought it was strictly for the unemployed.

But what really got to me was this, while they thought I couldn't hear them.

Receptionist: Is she underemployed?
Interviewer: *hushed, frustrated, and... generally derrogatory* No!!

The only thing she was missing was an eyeroll. I about died on the spot, probably because I wasn't supposed to hear it. I felt like marching up to her, telling her that I understood that I didn't have any children, but I DO have to pay to live at the Ballwin house, I have a hard time keeping gas in my tank, and if I had somewhere else to turn for advice, I would. I didn't, instead I thanked them both for their time and took a seat at the computer.

I was bristling by that time, trying to sign in, only to find out that the interviewer had given me my password wrong. I didn't want to get up and ask her. I did figure it out after jumping through a few hoops. But when I finally got through to greathires.org, I didn't have enough heart to do much with it. I felt... slighted and out of place. Damn them both.

So I didn't stay. I went down to Mystic Valley, and back home.

Fucking hell. What do I do in August if I can't find a new job by then? Waitress three jobs and hope for the best? Go Cutco or Telemarketing?

I'll figure out something. But fuck going back there for the next nine months. I have the only thing they were going to give me besides fax and cover letter services.